All products featured on Self are independently selected by our editors.
However, we may receive compensation from retailers and/or from purchases of products through these links.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation.
Valery / Adobe Stock
You may have heard about asexuality but not know too much else about it.
Being asexual doesnt necessarily mean you dont have sex.
There are arguably so many different ways to be straight or heterosexual.
Aces can seek out romanceor not.
Someasexual people may want to get marriedwhile others may not pursue any romantic relationships.
According to Decker, people have said things like, You would be in a relationship if you could.
Youre not forming typical relationships because you cant or because theres something wrong with you, Decker tells SELF.
These hurtful ideas are not only untrue, but they further biases against people who are asexual.
Asexuality isnt inherently the result of experiencing sexual trauma.
Sometimes people mistakenly believe that asexuality occurs after a sexual assault or another traumatic experience.
Furthermore, being asexual describes your attraction and notwhyyou feel a certain key in of attraction, says Decker.
Asexuality isnt a new orientation.
Its nearly impossible to say how long asexuality has existed, but its definitely not a novel idea.
People of all racial backgrounds and genders can be asexual.
Additionally, cisgender men are often portrayed as hypersexual in popular culture.
There does seem to be a general lack of perspectives from nonaligned or male or masculine-aligned people.
Aces can and do start families.
Or if you dont experience sexual attraction, you dont want kids.
I can tell you those things are really different, he says.
It also involved moving to San Francisco where the birth parents lived and where third-parent adoption is legal.
Aces can be kinky.
Instead, kink is primarily about negotiating consent.
It can involve things like role-playing and bondage, for example.
I think many people think about kink as this inherently sexual practice.
Aces deal with discrimination.
One of the most serious areas of potential discrimination relates to finding mental health services, according to Decker.
Some therapists arent knowledgeable about asexuality, and aces may have trouble finding inclusive therapists who reaffirm their identity.
Theres a dearth of accurate, affirming pop culture representation for aces.
Its important for aces to see themselves in mainstream pop culture for feel accepted.
But he was the most prominent representation we had on TV recentlyand he helped me realize I was ace.
And Im not alone in feeling this way.
I unironically think that Todd Chavez changed my life a little bit, Kantt says.
That is so far the only positive asexual representation Ive seen in what I would consider mainstream media.
Were digging in the bottom of trash cans trying to find representation, Decker says.
