This is the life of someone withsocial anxiety.

Social anxiety, or social phobia,affects about 15 million American adults.

Here are the important facts about social anxiety your friend coping with it wishes you knew.

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Its not you, its her.

Because it really has nothing to do with us as individuals.

If Im anxious with 100 percent of a large friend group, its not them.

And it doesnt mean your friend doesnt trust you or feel comfortable around you.

Again, it doesnt necessarily mean you are doing something wrong.

But it means she, for whatever reason, is afraid of being judged or saying the wrong thing.

If she’s acting aloof, it’s probably because shes trying to control her anxiety.

Shes just really focusing all her energy into quelling that anxiety.

It may just look like theyre acting cold.

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3.

Shes not trying to ditch you, she just really cant handle going out right now.

Chances are, an honest conversation will clear up any doubts about where you both stand.

She may even experience social anxiety around her closest friends, so don’t be offended.

While anxiety around strangers is more typical, some people may have a tougher time around close friends.

Its less common, but theres no hard and fast rule, Dr. Pike explains.

Its really more about what we regard as most threatening.

Shedoeswant to spend time with other people and build new relationships, it’s just really hard.

If they didnt care about being with other people, it wouldnt be distressing, Chambless explains.

“People with social anxiety are unhappy about not having relationships.”

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6.

Having a socially anxious moment can cause a mind blank, followed by a serious spiral of awkwardness.

Then the anxiety just compounds.

7. you might be a confident woman and still be socially anxious.

Anytime anyone has significant anxiety about something, they lack self confidence about that situation, Chambless explains.

Skip the huge partyshed rather a small gathering.

Parties involve a lot of chitchat, which is extremely anxiety inducing.

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9.

If she’s getting wasted a lot, it could be her way of dealing with social situations.

Some people turn to alcohol to self-medicate in social situations, Chambless notes.

Ive seen this happen a number of times and it worries me.

Your encouragement helps, but hey do not tell her to stop being anxious.

The biggest thing is not to tell someone to not be anxious, Pike explains.