Babies have a habit of shaking up even the most foundational parts of lifeincluding friendships.
When it feels like so much has changed, how do you keep yourfriendship going strong?
The first thing to know is youre not alone, and nothings gone wrong here.
Monika Jurczyk/Adobe Stock
The good news is that the friendship doesnt have to shrivel up and die.
Itisgoing to have to evolve, though.
Relationships have to be fluid and dynamic, or else theyre going to break.
The best friendships are those that [can] ride the waves.
So one of our experts top tips for both the new parent and their BFF?
Let thefriendshiplook different, and give yourselves some time to find your groove again, Dr. Mills says.
With that in mind, lets get into some more specific tips for each party.
If youre the one who just had a baby…
Sometimes new parents see socializing as a luxury.
Leaning on friendships and having engagements (even conversations!)
Let them know that youre trying to manage a new way of life, adds Dr. Mills.
Remind them that its not personal and youll be back, you just need some time.
Parenting has me wiped, and some days I barely have time to wash my face.
Still figuring it all out, but I miss you!
As Dr. Degges-White explains, Even if theyre not a parent, theyre gonna understand that life changes.
Because it doesnt have to be overwhelming, Dr. Mills says.
Think about what would actually be easy for you right now, and embrace the convenient orlow-key hang.
Or invite them to join you on your morning walk around the neighborhood or for a super-quick coffee.
A little time is better than no time, as Dr. Mills puts it.
There are some places you just feel uncomfortable, Dr. Degges-White acknowledges.
So take the lead and choose spots that are as low-stress as possible, Dr. Degges-White says.
Dr. Mills recommends sending a card or a short but sweet text or voice note.
(Sending them a funny meme or TikTok that reminds you of them counts too.)
If your friend just had a baby… Its not uncommon for the partner to even feel a little jealous, Dr. Degges-White says.
And there may be some very real biological (not personal!)
factors at play, too, especially if your friend gave birth.
Its not you, its baby.
Embracing this new part of your friends life pays off in a few ways.
you’re free to also get involved in a hands-on way.
Putting yourself in your friends shoes can help you support them betteremotionally and practically.
Let them vent about whats challenging.
Another huge way to show your bestie you get it?
Be okay with the usualgive-and-take of your friendshiplooking lopsided for a while.
That means rolling with last-minute plan changes and not expecting fast replies.
No one can replace your friend.
Pursue people that you want to get to know and enjoy being with, Dr. Mills recommends.
This is ultimately better for your relationship with your parent pal too.
The hectic newborn period doesnt last forever (phew).
Yall share a history together, and you care about each other, Dr. Degges-White says.
A friendship thats built on time invested isnt going to crumble just because this new thing happened.
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