It can be tough to know exactly how to let go of anger and resentment.
Theres nothing inherently wrong with those feelings.
At SELF, were passionate aboutnormalizing big emotionswe want you to know its okay to experience them.
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Anger is a reaction to a perceived threat, which means it can trigger our fight-or-flight response.
Easier said than done?
But thats why we asked experts for advice on how exactly to do this.
Be honest: Youre pissed off.
Along with rushing toward forgiveness, you might feel compelled to bury your anger.
No matter the reason, ignoring your anger (or any other emotion) isnt the best idea.
Were not suggesting you start a fight, but it is okay to be pissed off.
Still, admitting that youre angry can be difficult.
The compassion and understanding that youd share with them might be exactly what you should probably give yourself.
If youre someone who buries your emotions, take a moment to admit that youre angry out loud.
Try not to rationalize it away or pretend it doesnt exist.
Simply say the words out loud and realize that the world is still standing.
Its okay to be pissed off.
Write down why youre angry.
Once youve realized youre angry, write your thoughts and emotions out.
When youre angry, logic and reason tend to suffer, according to theAPA.
So writing down your thoughts allows you to explore how much of your anger is rooted in reality.
you might start by answering the following question: Why am I angry right now?
Look at the situation like youre a fly on the wall.
Journaling about your experience is helpful, but it can encourage you to ruminate a little.
A 2021 study published inFrontiers in Psychologyexamined whether self-distancing could reduce negative self-talk and aggressive behavior in college athletes.
You might also shift from using first-person pronouns to third-person.
So instead of saying, Im so angry because… you might say, Shes so angry because… Now, take a stab at pinpoint your triggers.
When you decide to examine your rage, random memories, thoughts, and emotions can arise.
Some of those thoughts might include name-calling and colorful language (no judgment).
But theres probably valuable information lurking underneath the surface too.
This can help you avoid those triggers in the future, theAPAsays.
Take a few deep breaths.
Anger can feel cerebral, especially when youre clear on precisely what pushed you over the edge.
But it isnt just happening in your mindthere is also a physiological response.
If breathing exercises dont seem appealing, doing something physical is another way to activate your rest-and-digest system.
Be mindful about venting.
The researchers found that the more people complained, the worse they felt.
That doesnt mean you should keep all of your feelings bottled up.
You just have to be very intentional about how you choose to chat.
Seek a healthy distraction.
How do you know whether youre avoiding or simply taking a break?
If youre angry at someone, consider talking it out when youve calmed down.
Sometimes were angry at other human beings, and processing emotions might include explaining why youre upset.
And, if youre raging and ready to fight, its best to wait until things have simmered.
If the anger persists, consider chatting with a professional.
