But the truth is, there are far more people dealing with tough familystuffthan meets the eye.
We just dont post about our struggles on social media.
Ask yourselfwhyyoure going home for the holidays.
Macpherson/Getty Images/Amanda K Bailey
Are you going simply because youre expected to?
Or because youll feel guilty if you dont?
Are you genuinely excited about reconnecting with some family members and creating new memories?
If visiting your family comes at the expense of your mental health, the cost may be too high.
Beverly Ibeh, PsyD, a psychologist atThrive Psychology Group
2.
Lower your expectations and take breaks when you better.
Its important to have a realistic outlook and know that things could potentially go wrong with your family.
Something else I do is escape difficult moments by stepping away and practicing some mindfulness.
James Harris, LMHP, founder ofMen To Heal
3.
Establish boundaries with your family ahead of time.
I believe that we are mutually responsible for and capable of cocreating a family space thats respectful and enjoyable.
Melody Li, LMFT, founder ofInclusive Therapists
4.
Remind yourself that its okay to say no.
Brandon A. Shindo, LCSW, Co-Founder ofK & B Therapy, Inc.
5.
Set limits with family members who share different religious views.
Setting a limit in these cases might look like saying, Thank you for the invite to Hanukkah dinner!
I can be there at 5, but Ill need to be on the road by 7.
Natalie Kember, LMSW, a Michigan-based social worker
6.
Learn how to detach when necessary.
Pavna K. Sodhi, EdD, psychotherapist and counseling professor at the University of Ottowa
7.
Just do not go!
My new favorite way to do this is by taking a vacation during the holidays.
If youre not in town, theres no expectation for you to attend.
If a full-on trip doesnt work for you, you could also make fun day plans.
Think about who it is that you would prefer to spend that time with.
Is it a partner, friends, or evenyourself?
Once you know, plan a trip or outing so you have something to look forward to.
Joi Britt, LCSW, owner ofLife Intentionally Psychotherapy
8.
Create your own traditions and rituals.
In my childhood family, we rarely decorated or offered presents.
The holidays were barely a blip in the calendar.
My immigrant parents were too exhausted and financially restricted to decorate our house or buy an abundance of gifts.
Jenny Wang, PhD, psychologist, author, and founder ofAsians For Mental Health
9.
Make a safe space for yourself.
Just because youre related to someone doesnt always mean they have the best intentions for you.
You are capable and deserving of creatingholiday traditionsand dynamics that bring you joy and peace.
Carla Avalos, LCSW, owner ofNuevos Caminos Therapy
10.
Host family get-togethers on your turf.
You dont need to tolerate abuse or disrespect from anyonefamily included.
However, its easier to set those limits when its on your turf, so to speak.
Sara Stanizai, LMFT, owner ofProspect Therapy
11.
Spend time with your chosen family.
Coming from an immigrant family, this was frequently met with confusion, judgment, and resistance.
Sometimes, these critiques and remarks would lead me down a thought spiral of self-doubt and guilt.
Whats helped me quiet those inner voices is turning to my community.
Ivonne M. Mejia, PsyD, psychologist and owner ofPachamama Therapy Collective
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