If youre thinking that sounds great in theory but have no idea how to implement it, dont worry.
Read on for some helpful tips on how to relax.
Know what actually relaxes you.
Ksenia Shokorova/Adobe Stock
People often think theyre resting when theyre really not, clinical psychologistRyan Howes, Ph.D., tells SELF.
For example, maybe you tend to count scrolling through Twitter for a couple of hours as relaxation.
That might be restful to some people, but for many, its more stressful than anything.
Relaxation is not one activityits the outcome of any activity, says Caraballo.
And which activities lead to relaxation will depend on you.
Explore hobbies, different types of physical activity, various means of socializing,self-carepractices, and more.
Ask yourself, How do I feel after doing this?
Do I feel grounded?
Do I feel stable?
Do I feel at ease?
And if not, maybe you should probably try something else.
Start small, says Caraballo.
Like, so small that you think its absurd.
Literally sit for 30 seconds.
Do one deep-breathing exercise a day.
Be intentional about your rest time.
Intentionality is kind of the golden rule of rest.
In order for relaxation to be effective, you have to commit to it.
The truth is, we half-ass our rest all the time.
We get distracted by email or social media.
Weturn our hobbies into side hustlesand drain them of joy.
We spend our rest time thinking about our to-do lists.
We leave ourselves open to distractions or wander aimlessly between activities because we dont actually know what we want.
Caraballo suggests asking yourself what you hope to get out of your relaxation time each time you do it.
To rest or to escape are starting points, but it helps to get specific.
Do you better distract yourself from problems at work?
Do you better feel refreshed and ready to dive back into life?
Do you gotta calm youranxiety?
Do you should probably feel soothed and comforted?
Speaking of…
3.
Schedule rest time and be generous about it.
When we dontschedule things, we tend to make decisions based on how were feeling at any given moment.
You have to carve it out on your scheduleeven if its just 15-minute bubbles here and there.
The most important part of scheduling rest: Be honest about what you want and need.
Enjoy pockets of relaxation throughout your week.
Speaking of restricting yourself, its easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mentality around rest.
Maybe you push yourself too hard during the week and only rest on weekends.
Take, for example, watching TV or playing video games.
According to Caraballo, that sort of restrictive behavior actually works against our rest.
When you dont have smaller moments more regularly, you could fall into binges, he says.
Establish a ritual to get in the mood.
This is especially important for those of us who areworking from home.
For example, we dont have a commute or the act of physically leaving the office.
Luckily, we can create our own transition rituals (more info on thathere).
Learn skills for managing your emotions and negative self-talk.
A lot of potent emotions can get in the way of rest, from anxiety to guilt.
Then keep these skills in mind as possible ways to tackle the next few tips too.
Dont force yourself to earn rest.
Confession: I fall into this trap a lot, and I know Im not alone.
Just finish your to-do list before you relax, I tell myself.
That way you’re able to enjoy it more!
Makes sense in theory, but guess what?
Its not about deservingyou need rest, says Caraballo.
Our brains need downtime.
Biologically, physiologically, rest is a necessity.
That said, it’s possible for you to remind yourself how rest supports your work.
If telling yourself that helps you feel less guilty and distracted during your downtime, so be it.
Speaking of, its also okay if you have mixed feelings about this.
We put a lot of pressure on relaxation these days.
Its supposed to be our reprieve from the scary world, the trenches of capitalism, the grip ofburnout.
Because really that just means putting pressure on ourselves.
Its like, You must take care of yourself.
Its your responsibility to take care of yourself.
Youre a fool if you dont take care of yourself.
But that creates a lot of pressure for people and a lot of anxiety around rest.
Instead, take relaxation one day at a time.
We have to be realistic about what rest is, says Howes.
Your inability to chill out and rest might be more complicated than youd expect, according to Caraballo.
It gives us a place to start.
Were here to help provide insight.
If you dont already have a therapist to talk to, start withthese tipsfor finding an affordable one.
Lastly, be kind to yourself.
In fact, there are probably going to be a lot of days like that, and its okay.
Instead, be gentle and patient with yourself and understand its an ongoing challenge.
