This devastating blow to reproductive justice will disproportionately hurt marginalized communities, including people of color and LGBTQ+ folks.
Odds are that somebody you know will experience a surprise pregnancy at some point.
Of course not all unplanned pregnancies are unwanted, but in some cases they are.
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First, withhold all assumptions about their pregnancy news.
So, instead of reacting with something like, Congratulations!
She recommends something simple like, How are you feeling about this?
Reinforce that this is their choice and their choice alone.
Your friend may ask you for advice, but that can be an incredibly tricky situation.
Your goal is not to convince them one way or the other, Dr. Rubin says.
Some potential options: What are you most worried about?
What are the pros and cons youre weighing?
Are mixed emotions confusing you?
Are there important people youre scared to tell?
Offer to help research the resources that are available to them.
If they need to find an abortion provider, theNational Abortion Federation(NAF) has a nationwide database.
Resources like your local abortion clinic or Planned Parenthood may offer in-house counseling too.
4. ensure any clinics theyre considering arent crisis pregnancy centers.
Again, the NAF database is a great resource for this, but its not exhaustive.
If the clinic youre considering isnt on the database, google it.
If youre still not sure, it’s possible for you to call the clinic.
you’ve got the option to also ask if they have a licensed medical provider on staff.
5. make a run at find answers to any of their questions about the process.
This is why Dr. Rubin recommends asking if your friend needs help researching anything about the process.
Dr. Rubin suggests helping your friend distinguish between factual and incorrect information.
Or maybe theyve heard that the abortion pill is unsafedoctors and data say thatits clearly not.
If they need to wait before getting an abortion, suggest ways to help pass the time.
Or maybe your friend can theoretically get an abortion immediately but cant take time off work just yet.
Sometimes when youre waiting for the procedure, distraction is one of the best medicines, Dr. Coons says.
If youre comfortable with it, offer to accompany them.
They might want you by their side as much as possible, or maybe they prefer total privacy.
The best thing to do is to offer to be there, which gives them the option to decline.
Offer to be there with them, if youre up for it and available.
Maybe you could even offer to sleep over so that you could be there if they need you.
After the abortion, check in.
Then keep checking in.
Just because the procedure is over doesnt mean you should stop showing up.
Maybe they just want someone to be around after their abortion.
Or if alone time is what your friend is craving, give them that space.
But Dr. Rubin recommends offering to be available in the event that they change their mind.
Try something like, Can we make a plan that youll contact me if youre not feeling okay?
Assure them that however theyre feeling is perfectly valid.
Depending on their circumstances, your friend could feel relieved and excited to move on with life.
They could feel sad and wish theyd never had to make the choice in the first place.
Or they could feel a mix of many emotions.
Sometimes its talked about as if abortions are all the same, Dr. Rubin says.
But there is no single way to experience abortion.
And if youre reading this article, youre already off to a great start.
Maybe if you becamepregnantunexpectedly, you would never get an abortion.
Only your friend knows whats best for them, Dr. Dean says.
Every situation is different.
So what does being a good friend look like if youre against a friends abortion?
If youre able to offer specific kinds of support without judgment, do that, Dr. Rubin says.
The bottom line: They need your friendship, not your judgment.