Welcome to today’s installment of SELF.com Myth-Busting: The Getting-Married Edition.
But as you’re about to see, that’s absolutely false.
“I was afraid I was doing what my mom wanted me to do.
Illustration by Jocelyn Runice
We can turn around and walk away right now.'
It was as if he read my mind.
I laughed at him and said, ‘Dad, come on,’ and we walked down the aisle.
The marriage lasted 11 months because my husband was aswildly unfaithfulas he had been before we got married.
But my father’s words and instinct never left my memory.
That day, I learned just how much he loved, knew me, and cared about me.”
Angela H., 42
“My husband and I got married during a pretty hectic time.
He had work and school too, but I felt like I was doing the heavy lifting.
I started to wonder if the next chapter of life was also going to look like a solo act.
After getting overwhelmed, I let him know how I felt.
After that, he tried every day after that to relieve some of the pressure.”
Daniela R., 29
“I live with rheumatoid arthritis along with otherautoimmune conditions.
Six months before my wedding, I also had brain surgery.
I talked about it with my husband.
He was extremely supportive and comforting, and five years later, he still is.”
I’d had them the entire three-year relationship, and I had no idea how much he disliked them.
They were like children to me, so I was shocked and honestly thought he was joking.
To my dismay, he was not.
My friends and family were disturbed as well.
Marrah S., 35
“I married more for security than passion.
The moment we said ‘I do,’ it was over for me.
We stuck it out for a year and a half, but my feelings never turned into romance.
I shouldn’t have said I do when, in fact, I didn’t.”
April H., 54
“My husband is 20 years older than me.
His oldest brother is my dads age!
Julie K., 37
“Before our wedding, we were arguing a lot.
My fiance got upset when I started to question the relationship, so we got married.
I talked with him about it before we got married.
We even created a plan for a positive way to tackle problems.
Jennifer T., 32
“I was in my late 30s when I got married.
Aside from a few friends, I had no models for successful relationships.
It seemed like we were certainly walking into a doomed marriage, just statistically speaking.
But neither of us had ever felt like this about anyone before, so we got married anyway.
Three years later, we’re still madly in love.”
Danielle V., 41
Quotes have been edited and condensed for clarity.
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