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In an ideal world, every time you had sex would go off without a hitch.

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Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work that way.

“My mind won’t stop wandering.”

This is especially true for many moms, since the pressure of parenting can obstruct any sexy thoughts.

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It may seem counterintuitive, but scheduling sex may help.

Beyond that, introducing some novelty via toys or newsex positionscan help keep you present.

“Since I’m a man, I can’t be warm and fuzzy.”

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That rumor about how guys are unfeeling, sex-obsessed robots is doing dudes a disservice.

“I always have to initiate.”

If one person thinks the other doesn’t get the good times rolling enough, resentment can bubble up.

Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, tells SELF.

“What happened to the foreplay?”

That way it seems less like a critique and more like an encouragement of something they already do.

“I wish we were more affectionate.”

Luckily, this has a fun fix.

“Our emotional connection is lacking.”

This is what Brown calls “empty sex,” which doesn’t sound especially appealing.

To help banish this feeling, work on fostering intimacy outside of the bedroom.

“The pressure to make a baby is insane.”

When a straight couple is trying to conceive, the man may feel like he’s performing on demand.

“There should a balance between articulating when you’re ovulating and spontaneity,” says Bindeman.

“My partner won’t perform oral sex.”

If you love oral sex but your partner refuses to do it, you might feel rejected.

“Starting a family has completely screwed our sex life.”

Although the sleep deprivation andstresscan give your sex drive a real walloping, all is not lost.

“I think my partner takes me for granted.”

Those “I” statements are essential for helping your partner not feel attacked.

“He ejaculates prematurely.”

If there were ever a time to tread lightly, this would be it.

“If it happens again, this is a problem that is not going away,” says Walfish.

“We just don’t have enough sex!”

This one often muscles its way into relationships after the honeymoon period has worn off.

Luckily, compromise can save the day.

Experimenting with what turns each other on can help you look forward togood sexagain.