I married Nate when I was just24 years old.
We were fresh out of college andif Im being completely honestwe were totally unprepared for life.
We assumed that ours would be a house with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids.
Getty / JovanaT
None of that happened.
What did was something betterwith some work and maybe luck.
Marry a person who makes a great wedding guest.
The first time I attended a wedding with Nate, I knew that I wanted to marry him.
You don’t have to pee with the door open.
Being married for a decade-plus does not mean that romance should be flushed down the toilet.
Its okay to go to bed mad.
There is no more beloved marriage advice than Dont go to bed mad.
But were big believers in going to bed in a tiff.
Most of our arguments are insignificant, and weve forgotten about them after a good nights sleep.
If not, its on.
Some years will just suck.
I have a friend who swears that all odd years of marriage are terrible.
No matter what, though, one things certain: Some years are just going to suck.
In our marriage, its usually not the person, but the circumstance.
The year that we moved to NYC and had zero friends or family nearby sucked.
The year my dad died sucked.
Dont have kids if you don’t want them.
We also feared regretting this decision, but after 15 years as a twosome, were happier than ever.
Your marriage, your choice.
Traveling together helps you bond.
Traveling is one of our favorite hobbies, and our marriage is better for it.
Traveling has taught us to trust each other and rely on each others strengths.
Figuring out how to fight is key.
I was a terrible fighter in the beginning of our marriage.
I was a yeller and a door-slammer, and Nate was calm and communicative.
Its here that we can easily air our grievances with well thought out intentions.
By the time were home from work, its been settledno door slamming necessary.
Having your own hobbies is much needed.
But doing something challenging together can be amazing for your marriage.
We trained together for three months and cheered each other on until the very last step.
Being each other’s cheerleader is essential.
I went through an unfortunate stage where I decided to start a boozy jam-making business.
Nate had a short-lived passion with beer making.
Even when our apartment wasnt filled with bad beer and jam splatters, weve supported each others passions.
Always get separate popcorn at the movies.
Some people like separate checking accounts; others prefer separate bedrooms.
I will share almost anything with Nate except for popcorn.
For me, getting my own tub to eat at my own pace is the epitome of marriage luxury.
We may not always be equal, and that’s okay.
My grandma always told me that no marriage is 50/50.
And as long as this fluctuates fairly over timeits okay.
Combining family and friends makes life so much easier.
Today, my mom and grandma are welcomed into Nates home and his family is welcomed into mine.
It makes family time so much happier and easier for everyone.
Additionally, weve had the good fortune of combining friends over the years.
His best friend from grammar school is now one of my besties, and my BFFs are his.
Treat your partner like a coworker.
The simplest action Ive learned in 15 years is to be kind to one other.
Comfortable silence is golden.
Im a voracious reader who values a book and quiet time.
With so much time together, a comfortable silence is a marriage miracle.
