Moreover, she cautions against assuming thateveryonewho dates weeks or even days after a breakup is rebounding.
So sometimes its possible to truly be over someoneand then just happen to meet someone else soon after.
Every budding romance involves an element of risk.
Igor Ustynskyy / Getty Images
In this case, Sprowl explains that transparent communication is crucial to keeping a possible rebound relationship ethical.
They seem way too into you way too soon.
Are they calling you The One even though you just met, like, 10 seconds ago?
Thats an indication that their infatuation with you might really be about them using you to avoid their feelings.
You feel like youre constantly being measured against some invisible yardstick.
The relationship moves quickly and slowly at the same time.
Weirdly, though, you feel like youve barely gotten to know them.
I call this false intimacy, Tierno says.
You may notice that theyll attempt to talk aboutanythingother than themselves.
You cant seem to reach them emotionally.
Dennis says youll likely feel it instinctually when someones acting emotionally unavailable.
You begin to feel them fall back, Dennis continues.
Maybe theyre not answering calls as frequently, or theyre not showing up to dates that are intimate.
They begin to pull back when they feel themselves getting to a place of vulnerability.
You sense lingering bitterness over their ex.
Maybe they insist theyre over their last relationship.
Then they lash out, seemingly out of nowhere, about what a monster their former lover is.
A lot of times, it means that there are unprocessed emotions there, she explains.
That doesnt always mean that they want to go back to that person.
It just means that theyre not healed from it.
Again, if theyre open to talking about it, youre not necessarily in rebound red flag territory.
Ideally, Tierno says, They say something like, Hey, I wanna go to this party.
My ex is gonna be there.
How do you feel about that?
What can I do to help you be comfortable there?
…Or theyre sharing you on social media.
Meaning, they may be technically posting about you but thinking of their exs reaction when they do it.
People have a lot to process after a breakup, she says.
Or theyre just plain fixated on the ex in general.
Theyre rebounding with a few people but making you feel like youre the special one.
But thats onlyiftheyre honest with everyone involved and managing everyones attachments responsibly, Dennis says.
What constitutes irresponsible handling of this situation?
Theyre making a person feel like theyre the only one in a way thats manipulative, Dennis explains.
Your sex life seems off.
Rebounders also often use sex to distract themselves from their pain.
An intense physical connection is a normal (super fun) part of many new relationships, of course.
Again, this comes down to trusting your instincts and putting their behavior in context.
Have they expressed to you that theyre just not ready to be intimate yet?
Or maybe that they rushed into sex in their last relationship and want to do things differently with you?
But if they seem distant in other ways, thats worth paying attention to, according to Tierno.
Once again, honest communication can clear a lot of the confusion.
The end of their recent long-term relationship was a shock to them.
They want to act like a long-term couple already.
Their interest in you runs hot and cold.
Does their obsession with you abruptly grow cold?
Are they inexplicably moody and then go radio silent on text?
Or maybe theyre exhibiting signs of anavoidant attachment style, which doesnt necessarily mean they dont care about you.
They dont say much about themself (or their life before you).
You have a nagging feeling that you were the first person they picked out of a lineup.
In my experience, peoples intuition is usually accurate, Sprowl says.
Additional reporting by Claire Hannum
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