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A magnet that shows youve got friends in high places.

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Unless your parents are diehard hippies, get yourself ready for a talk about gateway drugs.

$15;Etsy.com

An umbrella that tells the sky how little you appreciate the weather.

But other ones dont have the same Youre effing up my hair oomph.

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$43;ArtLebedev.com

A nonsensical mug that makes Monday mornings more bearable.

Not your fault they cant admit balls are funny.

$14;Etsy.com

A whip thats worthy of50 Shades.

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Even if its just a joke about how youre the always-in-charge Monica Geller of your friend group.

$55;Lelo.com

A pun-derful print.

Imagine your mom trying to figure it out: Oh, what a lovely piece of art!

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What is that in the middle?

But that makes no sense!

$5;Etsy.com

A book that breaks down the effects of different drugs.

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$15;UrbanOutfitters.com

A box of pubic hair dye to unleash your inner Tumblr goddess.

Chances are they really dont want to think about anything going on in that region.

$15;BettyBeauty.com

A reversible pillowcase that broadcasts your nightly executive decision.

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$295;KikiDM.com

A tea towel that worships at the altar of Walter White.

$12;Etsy.com

A bowl that celebrates how awesome breasts are.

In your parents eyes, youre probably pretty perfect.

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$20;Etsy.com

A necklace that reaffirms why you love your closest friend.

$46;Etsy.com

An ugly sweater that would delight Bad Santa.

Parents: incessant worriers and champions of drinking in moderation.

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$20;Etsy.com

But imagine how cute the cookies would look decorated with little elf hats!

$8.50 for three;Etsy.com

A tiny, aggressive keychain that speaks your mind.

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If they want grandkids soon, itll bum them out.

But if they dont, its a reminder that youre partaking in baby-making activities.

That is officially a lose-lose situation.

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