There are very few areas of everyday life thecoronaviruscrisis hasnt wreaked havoc on.
Sex, intimacy, and desire are no exception.
If you might relate, youre definitely not alone.
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(Some responses have been edited and condensed for clarity.)
Youre freaking horny, damn it.
Listen, we had to start here.
Its like my horniness has been unleashed.
Youre masturbating a ton out of boredom.
Masturbationis a time-honored time waster for many.
Needless to say Ive been masturbating a lot.
Like, a lot a lot.
Or youre bored of masturbating, TBH.
It sucks, so Im trying to take a break to see if it goes back to being fun.
Your mental health tanked your sex drive.
I have zero desire to have sex, Emmy D., 26, tells SELF.
I hope this passes.
I cant even masturbate because I cant keep my mind off heavy or stressful things long enough.
Sex doesnt feel as good as it used to.
Even if you are having sex, you might be having trouble enjoying it.
Im moreanxiousthan usual, so having sex is very difficult, Kim B., 28, tells SELF.
Or you just cant get in the mood.
Your pre-pandemic loneliness is exacerbated.
[Since the pandemic], I see people complain about something temporary thats my normal.
Many people like me deal with not having our sexual needs or desires met.
Its tough seeing all these reminders that my average life is someones nightmare.
Uncertainty about the future might also be making you feel worse.
So my normal was already lonely and distant, not exactly by choice.
When quarantine started I realized I wouldnt be able to for God knows how long.
Your sex life is thriving.
Hey, its bound to happen for some people.
Youre disappointed that your sex life hasnt picked up.
*, 25, tells SELF.
Im furloughed, and shes working herstressful jobfrom home.
Im jealous of the people who say their sex lives have improved in the pandemic.
You feel really unsexy.
I live alone and have some partners I frequently sext and swap pics with, but its not happening.
I spend most of my time sitting around in dirty pjs, eating, and feeling ugly.
You couldnt pay me to take a nude right now.
Youre more touch-starved than sex-starved.
*, 28, tells SELF.
I just want to cuddle and be near someone more than I want sex.
Right now, I want hugs more than anything.
Youve made some realizations about your relationship.
Well, turns out our schedules werent the only thing getting in the way.
It only took two weeks to discover our relationship has totally lost its spark.
You dont have to be stuck together to make some realizations either.
I think I realized how much our sex life sucks by taking a break from it.
Or youre learning new things about yourself.
Hey, now might just be the perfect time for some exploration and discovery.
Maybe I will learn to become more comfortable with my sexuality.
Youve branched out with your porn and erotica consumption.
Speaking of exploration,pornhabits came up a lot.
Ive also gotten into public-places porn.
I could really go for fucking in a park right now.
You really miss flirting and casual intimacy.
You dont really realize the small, exciting moments you experience every day until theyre gone, huh?
Now I cant flirt with anyone.
Im just bored and want to flirt again.
I love my husband and dont want to cheat; I just want to feel pretty and desired.
Youre feeling more emotional and intense.
You might be caught off guard at some by the emotions bubbling up around sex and intimacy right now.
Im afraid that all of this is creating a false sense of intimacy.
I know the world isnt ending, but everything feels so dramatic.
I found myself almost saying I love you when we were masturbating over video together.
Given the circumstances, heightened emotions might be the norm across the board.
That sex now feels more emotional since everything feels more emotional.
Youre experiencing sexual dysfunction.
[Im] currently able to achieve and maintain erection, but not much stimulates me anymore.
Pornography has lost most of its effect.
You havent gone through any major changes, actually.
Maybe youre reading through this list and not connecting with any of itthats cool too.
Youre experiencing something different every other day.
Theres a chance youll go through multiple things on this list, either at once or in cycles.
Its all about taking it one day at a time.
*Names have been changed to grant anonymity upon request.
