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Maybe youre ready to reassess your sex life, but youre not sure where to start.
Nolan Pelletier
I get itlots can happen to snarl up your feelings around boning.
Maintain a spirit of openness and you cant lose.
If you try something new and it doesnt suit or thrill you?
Thats also good information about getting closer to sex thatdoes.
Give your future self a gift that you’ve got the option to touch yourself to.
Rereading these back is also a mollifying reminder of whats possible when things arent quite as electric.
Write that down, too, and use it to guide your future hookups.
Replace anything with holes in it or thats otherwise exhausted.
Dont settle for serviceable-enough briefs that onlykindaaffirm your gender.
Get matchinglingeriesets on sale!
There are three main kinds of lube:oil-, water-, and silicone-based.
(I likeUberlubeand straight-upAstroglide.)
Use a LOT of it next time youmasturbateor touch someone else.
Keep a hand towel by the bed.
This isnt just a concern for fingering vaginasand nor was it ever!
c’mon, lets right this grievous wrong.
Wear latex gloves if youre putting your acrylics or beautiful natural nails (luckycant relate) into someones ass.
Behave like a heartthrob seducing someone in a movie.
Text or call just to say youre thinking about someone.
Got a leotard, bodysuit, or pair of gym shorts?
Great, youre exercising and your partner is a personal trainer expertly adjusting your form.
Wear a suityoure the boss.
You dont have to go full Method within these roles, unless youre into that.
Just say, If you were myXand I were yourY, what would you do to me?
Stop fixating on how your stomach looks when the overhead light is on (who invented this?
Id love a word).
This often helps sex feel even more connective, permissive, and judgment-free.
Its extremely dreamy to have sex that happens to you in many places at once.
Make outslowly without lunging right for other parts of someones body.
Dont default to what you know makes you, or your partner, come really fast.
Try edging or taking breaks from the action to delay orgasms and draw things waaaaaay out.
In wellness culture this is called mindfulness, but I just call it being good in bed.
Take their hand while you use your other one somewhere else that feels good for them.
Angle yourself so they can see plenty of your smoking-ass physique.
Pretend someone is filming you.
If it feels performative?
Great, thats a sign youre nailing this.
If youre not down or able to have full-on penetrative anal (though: never say never!
), delve intorimjobsor other strategies for making your ass feel incredible from the outside.
Pair prostate exploration with handjobs or blowjobs to make it feel particularly blissful.
If youre a super-dominant megafox, let someone else lead.
If youre a goofball, be intense, filthy, and direct.
The obvious, time-tested convention here instructs bottoms to top, and vicevers-a.
you might call on all that intel in the future.
Most people love overt recognition of whats so magnetic and sexy about them.
Dont be coy about itgo full Pepe Le Pew.
Lifes short: Be unerringly passionate, a too-rare quality that youll likely be rewarded for.
Each option is foxyyet educational!in its own right.
Heresa guide to cleaning whatever kind of sex toyyoure using.
Anddefinitelyrefresh your toys between partners and holes.
Keep the contents of your nightstand pristine so you might do every filthy thing on your mind with gusto.
Its so much harder to feel great in bed if you dont feel physically comfortable to begin with.
Does sitting on someones face hurt your knees?
Lie on your backor sit on your dresser and have them kneel in front of you!
Do you haverecurrent UTIsthat youre just hoping will dissipate without intervention?
Talk to a doctor about ityou dont have to live this way!
Ismenopausemaking your vaginadry and irritated?
Put apillowunder your knees or neck to alleviate pain and pressure on your joints.
Look into a prescription for ED medication.
Whatever your body is trying to tell you, listen.
If youre having sex with one monogamous, long-term partner, get a basic screening once a year.
Keep a cool head about all of this: Most STIs can be treated!
Some can even be cured.None will ruin your sex lifeforever unless you decide it should.
This should never happen in the home.)
Just dont get lube on your records as you flip sides.
Or cue up romanticambient-ish albumsandpiano solos.)
If you dont live near a physical store, there are endless options onlineI likeBabelandandLovehoney.
Maybe youll buy something, or notbut you will very likely leave brimming with lurid new ideas.
Its okay to go through fallow periods, and to wait them out with acceptance and self-understanding.
After all, thoughtful patience is also the main force behind having multiple orgasms.
Additional reporting by Archie Bongiovanni.
