Millions of people are right there with you.
Those people have friends and family in your very shoes.
One tough aspect of this experience is determining how to react if your loved one relapses.
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While every situation is different, some approaches tend to be more effectiveand kinderthan others.
A relapse to many people seems like something somebody chose.
But its highly unlikely that expressing any kind of acrimony or rage is going to do any good.
Many people feel horrible about themselves when theyve suffered a relapse, Dr. Brennan says.
Youll only be adding to the mountain of guilt and self-loathing the person may already be bearing.
You could also try journaling, if thats more your speed.
When it comes toaddiction, people usually feel more comfortable offering up treatment advice.
Oftentimes, a family member will decide, I know what she needs.
She needs to go off to rehab.
And the patient has no interest in rehab, Dr. Brennan says.
But maybe the patientwouldbe interested in going to an outpatient clinic twice a week.
Respect their decision about the path thats right for them.
You may have heard the phrase relapse is part of recovery.
Thats true for many people.
Reminding your loved one that many people relapse before achieving stable and lastingsobrietymay make them feel less alone.
Bringing that up may help get your loved one on the path to more effective treatment.
Why dont we consult your therapist/addiction counselor/other professional, and see what other treatment options might be available?
Thats why its helpful to explicitly reaffirm that you dont blame them for theirrelapse.
Expressing your unconditional love and support may be one of the kindest things you could do.
Let them know that you are there for themrelapse or not, three days sober or 300.
They may know that theyve broken some trust.
I think what people are often seeking is an opportunity to rebuild that trust, Dr. Mooney says.
The major caveat here is that you should only say this if you mean it.
Well get into how to find that kind of support in a bit.
For example, they might be able to pinpoint triggers that prompted them to engaged in substance use again.
Like everything else, its important to ask this question without judgment, Dr. Brennan says.
Im wondering if youve discovered something that can help as you get back on this path.
you’re able to also encourage them to discuss this question with theirtherapistor addiction counselor.
Dr. Brennan suggests something like, Is there anything I can do to help you in this period?
Because I want to check that we get you back to a place of happiness and security.
It may be emotional support in the form of lending an ear or expressing encouragement.
Its not uncommon for a person whos relapsed to feel discouraged and get into a pattern of negative thinking.
She suggests something like, I know you might do it because youve done it before.
Those days of sobriety happened.
They mean something, Dr. Brennan says.
Ask what inspired them to seek treatment before.
Whatever the response, reiterate how valid those reasons are.
Just as you cant blame the person for their relapse, you cant condemn yourself, either.
This may take the form of individual counseling, like speaking with atherapistwho specializes in addiction and recovery.
These can be helpful because you realize how many other people are feeling the same way.
