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But it doesnt have to be that way!
Antonio Rodriguez / Adobe Stock
The exact origins of the holiday are murky anyway, so why not make it your own?
Decorate a Valentine’s Day tree.
I put up a Valentine’s tree every year.
Kate N., teacher
2.
Enjoy a smash session at a rage room.
Last year my boyfriend and I went to Break Bar NYC.
Rachel Q., director of audience development
3.
Go to a burlesque and/or wrestling show.
I went to Lucha VaVoom in L.A. once, a lucha libre meets burlesque performance.
It’s like a sexier, funnier WWE event with Mexican maskstotally glam and kind of wild.
The music blares, the performers are incredible, and there’s usually a comedian host.
It’s just the right amount of fun and sexy for a low-pressure date.
Xochitl M., clothing designer
4.
Donate to queer causes.
Every Valentines Day, I take the time to donate what I can to queer causes.
Christina L., artist
5.
Have an indoor picnic in a DIY fort.
Beth A., talent management
6.
Go to a board game cafe.
Monopoly, Settlers of Catanwhatever board game you could think of, the cafe had it.
But I particularly loved getting to know someone over a good game of Scrabble.
It felt easy because it was just about playing board games and chilling out.
Adrianna F., SELF social media manager
7.
Pretend to be a Nascar driver.
It was really exciting but not stomach-destroyingly terrifying.
Molly S., editor
8.
I once took sailing lessons with my ex on Valentines Dayit was one of our earlier big dates.
Jarrett M., writer and editor
9.
Go to a dog show (or watch one on TV).
Then we got to cheer on our favorite dogs from our seatsand mentally boo the pups we deemed unworthy.
Andrew L., software developer
10.
Have your astrology chart read.
I felt like I not only learned a lot about myself but got to know my friend better too.
Mia L., event production
11.
Host a cocktail party for friends.
I made strawberry mojitos and someone else brought sangria.
I put out finger foods and red velvet cupcakes, and I also made Valentine cards for everyone.
One of my friends brought tarot cards and did readings for the groupit was so much fun!
Tiffany M., fashion consultant
12.
Throw a Valentine-making crafternoon.
A friend of mine organized a card-making potluck brunch for a bunch of friends.
We all ate and mingled first and then got down to crafting business.
There was no structure to the craftingit was just an open space to create whatever you wanted.
We took photos against the backdrop with all of our custom cards when they were finished!
Lily B., data visualization engineer
13.
Go beer tasting at a local brewery.
We each got a flightfive small glasses filled with a variety of craft beers, from light to dark.
Laurie N., creative director
14.
Buy yourself something special.
I’d been eyeing one for months and I just thought, What the heck?
I don’t need to wait for someone to gift this to me.
I can gift it to myself!
It felt so special to celebrate me.
Frances D., SELF social media manager
15.
Go on a group dinner date.
Its much easier to get seated for Valentines Day dinner as a party of more than two.
One Valentines Day, my partner and I went to Frankies 457 in Brooklyn with another couple.
We waltzed right in and had an amazing dinner with great friends.
Bryan M.*
16.
Make fancy homemade pizza.
My husband and I make homemade pizzas every year on Valentine’s Day.
Flash forward to getting married and having a toddler (who loves pizza!
), and it’s become an annual tradition.
My favorite so far has been a balsamic peach burrata pieyum.
Rinata R., consumer research
17.
Learn to make sushi at home.
Then we brought our haul back to my house and did all the prep work.
Tracy S., app developer
18.Be your own perfect date.
I make myself dinner and eat by candlelight.
Or draw a bath and hop in it!
Basically, whatever I wish someone else was doing for me, I do for myself.
That’s my general rule when Im single.
Wish you had a cool boyfriend who knew how to ride a wave?Learn how to surfyourself!
Amy S., art director
19.
Cook a whole meal from a new cookbook.
I’m always looking for reasons to try new recipes, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect one.
I love cracking open a new cookbook and using it to make an entire meal.
Using recipes from the same book makes the meal feel cohesiveand makes me feel accomplished.
Caroline C., artist
20.
Get elevated at a bar or restaurant with a view.
Sometimes all a date needs to feel special is a really spectacular view.
Ten minutes after hopping on, you’re at the top and the view is incredible.
We hiked around at sunset and then had dinner at the restaurant.
Jill D., food stylist
21.
Go to a couple’s paint-and-sip event.
Fallon H., human resources
22.
Take a mud bath.
I took a date to a mud bath at a day spa.
It was kind of cheesy but so much fun.
My skin has never been so soft since.
Kirk B., musician
23.
Have a self-care day.
Jeanette W., consultant
24.
Bring a picnic on a hike.
It wasn’t a long hike but the elevation made it pretty intense.
Cynnthia L., head of I.T.
Have a fancy dinner-and-a-movie friend date.
The most memorable year was when50 Shades of Greycame out.
Jennifer Z., nurse
26.
Take a dance class.
I took my girlfriend and we had the best time.
The first part of the class was basic instruction, and the second half was partnering up to practice.
We loved it so much, we started going every week!
Manuel A., graphic artist
27.
Have a Korean spa day with friends.
Two years ago I had a ladies' day at SoJo Spa Cluba grandiose Korean spa in New Jersey.
They had a fantastic food court too.
We all got noodle soups and gifted each other sheet masks.
It was super fun and a nice reminder of how important it is to show yourself some love.
Dawn M., event planner
28.
Have a day out with your dog.
Then I changed clothes and had dinner on the patio of this incredible Italian restaurant, Osteria Monte Grappa.
The staff loved Guy and even brought me free dessert!
When it got cold, we drove home.
It was one of my favorite days.
Sam B., actor, director, yoga teacher
29.
One year after a breakup, I bought myself someflowersand had a pop-up poet write me a poem.
Afterward, I walked around and shot film photos of orange trees.
Ashley T., writer
30.
Take a solo trip.
Chris P.*
31.
One of the best Valentine’s activities I’ve ever done is go rollerskating.
It’s really fun and you’re able to bring your single friends!
My friend and I got super dressed-up in head-to-toe metallic spandex and rented skates at the venue.
Remy R., writer
32.
The school was in the mountains outside of San Diego, so it was really beautiful.
Meg W., photographer
33.
Give your partner some sacred alone time.
Justin K., creative director
34.
Have a Valentine’s Daythemed horror movie night.
My husband, Jimmy, and I are big horror fans.
So last year we chose to watch romantic, Valentine’s-themed horror movies on Valentine’s Day.
Marie L., freelance writer
35.
Host a love-letter writing party.
For the first hour-ish, we talked as a group about the importance of friendship in our lives.
And finally, we spent a little time writing love letters to ourselves.
Malia G.,SELF editor
*Name has been changed
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