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I shifted to being overly optimistic.
Amika Cooper
Charlotte Connor, 33, had just undergone a breast augmentation when shefelt a lump in her breast.
She had a mammogram and ultrasound to check for signs of cancer, but no MRI.
Looking back now, I wish I would have asked for that MRI, she says.
At the first check-up six months later, they told her she was fine.
At the secondone year after the original lump was foundthe lump had tripled in size.
Her mindset immediately shifted from a sinking feeling towards being optimistic about the future.
Its an outlook that didnt necessarily come naturally to her, either.
Part of that mind shift was for her daughter, who is now nine years old.
I couldnt be pessimistic, I had to be strong for her, she says.
Making things fun and lighthearted like that got me through my darkest, saddest moments, she says.
Therapy fortified me to get through cancer.
Fox scheduled an appointment with her ob-gyn that day.
They were ready to turn me away.
The lump, which was a little smaller than a golf ball, seemed strange to Fox.
Thankfully, she listened to her intuition.
That sentiment set the tone for her mindset as a fighter.
It made me think that I could face this and survive this, she says.
While therapy didnt make the pain go away, it did make how I coped with it much better.
I surrounded myself with love and laughter.
He said, Im in New York trying to hail a cab, but you have breast cancer.
you better find a breast surgeon.
She recalls one incident in an elevator after her sister had taken her to a chemo treatment.
My sister said, Oh, shes fine, shes just got a little bit of cancer.
The woman looked horrified, but I laughed.
My family knew that their sense of humor is what I needed.
I turned to prayer to remain calm.
She made me promise Id get my mammograms, Colden says.
Coldens first two yearly mammograms were clear.
Theres this inner feeling you have, she says.
Something was inside me saying thats not right.
Despite the diagnosis, Colden remained calm.
Im a religious person, she says.
She immediately felt a sense of peace.
I say, its going to be a long road.
If you dont want to travel it alone, Im right there with you.
And she means it.
Sometimes that involves talking with someone at 3 a.m. when thepain from chemotherapyhits.
My sister did a lot of support work before she got really sick, she says.
This is her vision.
I quit my life and started a new one as an advocate.
Theyd found a peanut-like lump under her nipple that turned out to be cancer.
Fairley, who was 55 at the time, said I dont have time for this right now.
Ill call you when I get to my destination.
Her diagnosis woke her up.
It made me realize that I needed to get all of the cancers out of my life.
Then she filed for divorce and, later, sold her house.
I quit my life and started a new one, and changed everything, she says.
I had to learn that my peace is non-negotiable.
I really think that stress caused my breast cancer.
A year later, her life changed again.
She was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, and was told she had two years to live.
She beat cancer a second time.
I remember sitting at my daughters graduation thinking Okay, I made it.
Whats next for me?
Turns out, theres a lot left for Fairley to do.
At the top of the list is advocating for Black women with breast cancer.
I started using the words Black Breast Cancer, she says.
Its a different disease.
Fairley is especially passionate about encouraging more Black people to participate in clinical trials.
None of the drugs available to us have been tested on Black bodies.9Why arent we in clinical trials?
No one asks us and theres a lot of fear.
So, she talks with Black women about signing up.
She explains exactly what clinical trials are and how they work to remove that fear.
Black women are badass moms and grandmas.
They do anything for the people they love.
And so I talk to them about signing up for clinical trials for their daughter or granddaughter.
My oldest granddaughter will get breasts in 10 years.
She is my purpose.
