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As kids, lots of us hold onto the hope that our friendships willlast forever.
Monika Jurczyk/Adobe Stock
You probably know by now that not all of them do.
Sometimes, its anirreparable fightthat pushes you apart.
But more often, its simply an undramatic, slow drift: People change.
So do their priorities.
Before you know it, theres a weird, quiet distance between you that kind of just…happened.
As heartbreaking as it can be, though, outgrowing old pals isnt necessarily a negative thing.
Actually, its a pretty common and natural part of growing up.
Wondering which category your once-close bond is falling into?
Here are a few signs that youve outgrown your friendship.
Your conversations feel forced or surface-level now.
Healthy friendships thrive on meaningful conversationsand plenty of silly ones, too!
Maybe you used to share absolutely everything, fromdating horror storiesto your biggest career goals.
Consider the flip side, too: Areyoupumped to listen, or has your mind started to wander?
Your lifestyles dont align like they used toand youre not particularly motivated to adapt.
Simply being in different stages of life is one of the most bittersweetyet commonreasons we.
might outgrow a friendship, both experts say.
Your current priority is starting a family, and theirs is traveling the world.
For instance, becoming a parent might naturally draw someone more towards fellow mothers and fathers, she explains.
The relationship feels increasingly one-sided.
Or youre the one whos backing away despite their repeated efforts.
To figure out if youre in aone-sided friendship, take a moment to reflect on your overall dynamic.
Is one person doing all theventing, while the other listens with little support in return?
Youre no longer willing to talk through any issues.
Even the strongest friendships hit rough patches, and getting past them is hard work.
Thats why its ared flagif either (or both) decide a toughbut much-neededconversation is no longer worth it.
Or instead of addressing how theirconstant digsget under your skin, youd rather pull back.
You dont really miss them or feel motivated to reach out.
For the most part, though,reaching outto your close buddies should feel effortless.
When a friendship has run its course, however, youll feel resigned rather than excited, Epstein says.
So, what if youdidoutgrow a friendship?
Its understandable if you relate to this growing ambivalence.
If its not a close dynamic, slow-ghosting may be the way to go.
Eventually, theyll get the message that the friendship isnt what they thought it was, Dr. Degges-White says.
And if the disinterest feels mutual?
That, Dr. Degges-White says, could be your cue to let things naturally fade.
(At least for now.
Who knowslife has a funny way of bringing people back together down the line.)
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