Sometimes, the only thing standing between you and ahealthy, happy relationshipis…you.
Self-sabotage in relationships can show up in a bunch of different ways.
Or because this feels too good to be true, something bad is bound to happen.
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You might be wondering, Why would anyone mess up a good thing on purpose?
If these self-destructive patterns sound all too familiar, you first need to spot when youre falling into them.
You set unrealistic expectations for your partner.
Its one thing to know what you want.
Maybe your dream partner has a stable job they enjoy or shares the same political views as you.
Or convincing yourself that because they werent available to hangone time, thats yourcue to end things.
Even if the person doesnt have anyred flagsor dealbreakers, you might start hunting for something wrong with them.
You pick big fights over the smallest issues.
To be fair: Overreacting occasionally isnt necessarily a red flag.
You withdraw as soon as things get serious.
Unfortunately, the carefree honeymoon phase doesnt last forever.
So can seeing every minor disagreement as a reason to break up.
Because ultimately, youre losing out on the opportunity to work through these concernstogetheras a team.
You constantly need reassurance that they love youeven when things are going well.
Do you still like me?
Are you attracted to me?
Are you sure you want to be with me??
?Its normal to crave validation from your partner to an extent.
But lets say theyve already said they love you, yet you keep asking, Are you sure?
Do you mean it?
Or you continue questioning their feelings even after the romantic dinner date of your dreams.
In these cases, constantly seeking reassurance can be a subtle sign of self-sabotage.
They may also feel discouraged from showing you love if it seems like a pointless effort.
You punish them with silence or other passive-aggressive behaviors.
What did I do to upset you?
In fact, it may push them awayand hold you back from what couldve been a great relationship.
Its this idea of, If they really love me, they should know whats going on.
Theyll fight for me, Sharoni explains.
Obviously, opening up your heart can be challenging and risky.
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