So if youre hoping to skip the cliche small talk (Where do you live?
What do you do for work?
First, what makes a good conversation starter?
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No matter the topic, whats important is that your conversation starters actually, well, lead to conversations.
Instead of saying, Do you want kids?
for instance, try, How do you feel about having kids?
The latter opens the door to a real discussion rather than a potential dead end.
It also helps to lean into things you know theyre into, Dr. Zar adds.
Chances are, theyll probably ask a few predictable basicshow your day was, whatyour hobbiesinclude, etc.
That way, youre not left drawing a blank and adding to any awkward vibes.
On that note, there arent necessarily wrong things to ask on a first date either.
Also, confirm youre not asking something you yourself arent comfortable answering.
(Oh, you like pop music?
Whos your favorite artist?
Have you been to any of their concerts?
Im obsessed with Lady Gaga.)
Ultimately, though, what kinds of topics for a first date feel right depend on your unique vibe.
If you want to start off light and casual
1.
What were you doing before this date?2.
Whats been the highlight of your week so far?3.
Whats your go-to order at a place like this?4.
How do you spend a typical week?5.
What do you usually do in your free time?6.
What are some hobbies youve been wanting to learn or get better at?7.
Whats your all-time favorite [book, movie, show, game, etc.]?8.
Do you like to travel?
What has been your favorite place so faror whats on your wish list?9.
What key in of music do you usually listen to?10.
How long have you lived in _____?
Would you ever consider leaving?11.
If you could trade lives with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?12.
Who do you usually call when youre having a bad day?13.
Whats the most random thing on your bucket list?14.
How do you feel about social media?
Do you have a favorite app?
If youre looking to learn more about themwithout overstepping
15.
Are you more of a texter or a caller?16.
How would your closest friends describe you?17.
Among your friends, what are you best known for?18.
Who is the person you look up to the most?19.
Whats something you wish more people knew about you?20.
Did you set any goals this year?
What were they?21.
Whats one thing you hope to accomplish in the next five years?22.
Whats something you do every single day without fail?23.
How do you feel about your current job?
If money werent a factor, would you pursue anything else?24.
Whats one topic you could make a whole TedTalk about?25.
Whats your biggest pet peeve?26.
Do you tend to be more of a planner or more spontaneous?27.
Whats one thing you really value in your friendships?28.
What are your hidden talents?29.
What are some accomplishments youre really proud of?30.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?31.
What wrong assumptions do people make about you?32.
Is there anything in your life that you feel like youre missinglike a specific achievement or experience?33.
Whos the person you talk to most in your life?34.
Whats one thing youre always willing to splurge on?
If youre ready to suss out your compatibility
35.
What made you want to go on this date with me?36.
What was your first impression of me?37.
I really care about _____.
What about you?38.
Whats one date idea youve always wanted to do?39.
What are some of your favorite romantic gestures?40.
What are you looking for right now?
What are some of your dealbreakers or pet peeves while dating?42.
How do you handle conflict?
Are you usually more upfront or go-with-the-flow?43.
Whats your love language?44.
How long was your most serious relationship?45.
What are some nonnegotiable things youd like in an ideal partner?46.
What are the most attractive qualities to you in a partner?47.
How do you prefer to spend quality time together in a relationship?48.
In your opinion, what are the most important factors in a successful relationship?49.
Whats the best piece of relationship advice youve ever gotten?50.
Whats the biggest lesson you learned from your last relationship?
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