I thought I was prepared for all the ways my body would change.
I’ve always imagined myself aging gracefully, accepting every extra line with pride.
These visible changes tested the way I perceived myself.
Courtesy of Jessica Cruel
I found my facial hair unattractive.
I never wanted to wear short skirts, in case someone would see myspider veinsor my cellulite-dimpledthighs.
But a curious thing happenedthe more I searched for solutions, the less I started to care.
Theyre normal, theyre natural, they can even be beautiful.
Most importantly, the older I get, the more I think f*ck itits NBD.
You may or may not feel the same way, which is totally fine, of course.
Im one of the suckers who fell for that beauty myth that dry brushing andcoffee scrubscould erasecellulite.
Now, I know better.
Nothing can get rid of the dimples on my thighs.
That means evenBeyonceandMichelle Obamaprobably have cellulite.
Cellulite appears when fat below the skin begins to press against the connective tissue around it.
It creates this cottage cheese effect.
It has pretty much nothing to do with weighteven thin people can have cellulite.
Mostly, its genetic.
So just like the dimples on my face, the dimples on mybuttare something Ive gotten used to.
And if there are haters, they can kiss my…well, you know.
Some people think thatstretch marksare something only new moms have to deal with.
Spoiler alert: Ive still got the stretch marks (although my respect for Billy Blanks lingers).
Fifteen years later I realize that nothing I do will make my stretch marks disappearand Im not alone.
They are super common, and like cellulite, largely based on genetics.
The marks appear when there is rapid stretching of the skin, like inpregnancyand puberty.
Growth spurts, breast development, and weight fluctuations can all contribute.
There are treatments that you might do to make stretch marks less obvious, like applyingretinolor gettinglaser treatments.
That stuff is way too valuable to use anywhere but my face.
Plus, this remedy works best on newer marks, not decades-old ones.
So, you might catch me dancing in my bikini withtiger stripeson full display.
When the spider veins started popping up on my thighs, I admit, I freaked out.
I tried giving myself leg massages to make the blue splotches disappear, but nothing would erase them.
It seemsspider veinsare my new reality.
These tiny black moles started to pop up when I turned 28, and they continue to multiply.
Getting rid of these spots is simple: A dermatologist can literally burn them off your face.
Reality check: The idea of someone coming towards my face with a cauterizing tool immediately had me reconsidering.
Now, I truly believe the bumps arent that bad.
I mean, Marilyn Monroe had beauty spotsthese are kind of the black girl version of that.
Im a leftymeaning my left boob is significantly larger than my right.
(Pro tip: Alwaysfit your new brasto the larger breast.)
Asymmetrical boobs are mostly due to genetics, but fluctuating weight can also cause a change in your boobs.
(At least thats how it feels to me.)
My first chin hair came in this year.
Now, I have to add plucking errant facial hair to my routine.
There are other options, of course.
I could go forelectrolysis, regular waxing appointments, or attempt to Nair it off.
Who knows, soon I might just roll with it.
