A post-quarantine pandemic reunion with your partner isnt always as sweet as youd imagine.
After weeks or months ofsocial distancingin separate places, thecoronavirus pandemicstill remains.
This means that every interaction comes with a somewhat awkward protocol.
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I, personally, had an out-of-body experience when I saw my partner for the first time.
For three weeks, he fought a severe case of strep throat and attempted to keep his business afloat.
Wed both been waiting for this moment for a month.
Yet when the time finally arrived, it felt like he wasnt even there in front of me.
Instead, it felt like I was floating beside him, disembodied and invisible.
I worried something was wrong in our relationship, but it turns out this isnt a totally abnormal response.
That dissociated feeling I had is a common response totraumatic events.
After all, this wasnt an ordinary reunion.
We werent on an extended vacation.
My partner and I had been kept apart by the threat of respiratory droplets.
Life was, and still is, in total upheaval.
Being away from loved ones is an incredibly challenging part of this pandemic.
And reunions, though generally positive, bring a jumble of mixed emotions.
The reunion could potentially end months of feeling disconnected.
Even for couples who were used to spending time apart, the pandemic brought some unforeseen challenges.
Once the pandemic hit, however, air travel was no longer an option.
Eventually, Mal drove five days to see Gaby in California.
When I saw [Mal], I was just so relieved and so happy.
I kissed them through their window before they even had time to bring up the door.
You may realize that the time apart was good for you and your relationship.
To stay connected, they video chatted until they fell asleep together.
It’s important to be able to separate yourself from your partner at times and focus on yourself.
That was pretty low-key.
[The reunion] consisted of a lot of quality time and snuggling.
You might hug and cry…and immediately move in together.
Unsurprisingly, many couples, once together, decide to quarantine in the same household.
It wasnt COVID-19, butdue to lack of available testing, quarantining was their only option.
We hugged and cried.
But, he adds, once they moved in together, there were a few challenges.
Along with mental preparation, she suggests that couples communicate about the incoming adjustment period.
Once you acknowledge that things might be a little bit different, talk it through, she explains.
Alex and his partner unknowingly followed Robnetts advice.
You might discover that being apart was just one of many of the stressors youre facing.
For some, the pandemic ramped upemotional intimacy.
Before the pandemic, they were less serious, but while separated, they started speaking way more often.
Though their pandemic reunion was sweetfilled with tears and hugsJo realized that being separated wasnt her main stressor.
I thought so much of what I was feeling during quarantine had to do with missing him.
Its not uncommon for folks to rely on romantic partners for the bulk of theiremotional support.
However, Robnett suggests being mindful of that tendency, especially in times where everyone is dealing with stressors.
Jo did exactly that.
You may feel emotionally distant even though youve reunited.
It was a pretty confusing experience, Nichole H.*, 25, tells SELF.
Things felt and continue to feel different, she says of reuniting with her partner after three months apart.
When they reunited, they went for a hike and packed a picnic.
They watchedTik Tokclips together and laughed.
The first meeting after quarantine was nice…but there’s a difference I can’t quite place.
Maybe the preservation of trying to keep things afloat drained a lot of emotional energy.
“[Your] identity might shift in fundamental ways,” she says.
To deal with these differences, Robnett suggests communicating with your partner about these changes.
Your reunion might feel like a first date.
I began having panic attacks, she tells SELF.
After three months, the reunion was sweet but awkward.
We went on a walk for an hour or two, and it felt almost like a first date.
I was so distraught about that feeling of a little awkwardness.
I was scared it was going to linger.
Thankfully, it didnt.
Learning to cope with this pandemic will pose challenges for all of us.
The world is continuously changing, and reunions are transitions, albeit happy ones.
Its hard to set that aside and just be joyful and in the moment, says Robnett.
Names have been changed upon request.
