Every mortician I know has a bevy of similar horror storiesbut theyre probably not the stories youre imagining.
They are not stories about zombies.
Our stories are much worse because they actually come true.
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The reality of death is something Im more intimately familiar with than most people.
I spent six years working as a mortician before retiring early almost three years ago.
Mortician is a word with a variety of meanings that change depending on the region.
The Noun Project
Some of it was more painful.
Ive seen secular humanists celebrated with intensely religious ceremonies that were in opposition to their life.
Heres what I think every person should know and do to prepare for their own passing and commemoration.
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First and foremost: paperwork!
Your legal spouse comes first.
If you dont have a spouse, your adult children come next.
After that are your parents and then your siblings.
Luckily, paperwork is an easy way to supersede the next-of-kin list.
You canspecify exactly who you want to make your funeral arrangementsand honor your wishes in a legal document.
when you land the DPOAHC filled out, you have to take care of a few tasks.
First, ensure that your designated agent is aware of and willing to undertake their responsibilities.
The last thing you want is to saddle your funeral on someone who doesnt want the task.
Secondly, ensure the document is signed and notarized.
Once your paperwork is officially official, you should make copies.
At minimum, you should ensure your designated agent has a copy.
Grief brain turns your memory into a sieve.
There are three major choices: burial, cremation, or donation.
Within those choices, there are a lot of individual options.
Burial is typically the most expensive option for funeral arrangements.
On top of that, youll also usually pay for a lifetime upkeep fee.
All told, youre talking about a minimum of $4,000and thats on the very low side.
Usually, arrangements involving burial end up closer to $10,000 or more.
Typically, it means your body is wrapped in a simple shroud and buried directly in the ground.
Unfortunately, these options are also not inexpensive.
Many natural cemeteries require the family to pay a fee for upkeep on the cemetery grounds.
During the cremation process, your body is burned and the cremated remains are returned to your family.
An unembalmed body is always going to look different from an embalmed body.
In death, features sink, the body changes, blood stops circulating.
A direct cremation is a cremation without any viewing of the body beforehand.
However, making sure you have the conversation before you actually die is so incredibly important.
The most important part of this conversation involves how you want the disposition of your body handled.
If youredead-seton cremation, your family needs to know that burial isnt your preference.
If you absolutely want to be embalmed and buried, your family needs to know that.
it’s possible for you to include your preferences on your DPOAHC (mine states, No burial!)
to help with the process.
Your family needs to know whether you want memorial or funeral services held.
They need to know whether you want those services to be religious.
They even need to know if you have someone youd like to give your eulogy.
Sometimes, having this conversation can be challenging.
They will keep all of your arrangements on hand until the time comes.
As if planning a funeral werent stressful enough, you have to talk about money.
Burials can run in excess of $20,000.
This insurance operates similarly to car or house insurance.
Many of these policies are able to be transferred, if you move from one place to another.
Its not a conversation about sunshine and puppy dogs.
