Getting pregnant the first time was easyit took just one monthbut the second time, no such luck.
After visiting a fertility specialist, Michelle learned she hadPCOS, one of the mostcommon causes of infertility.
That diagnosis was the start of the couple’s battle against infertility.
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“My husband is a very private person,” she tells SELF.
“He was someone who had more of a negative view of going through fertility.”
“Some of my patients dont tell anyone, because they are ashamed theyre going through fertility.
They feel like nobody else is doing it.”
Michelle considers her first pregnancy lucky.
I always thought I was going to be someone who struggled getting pregnant because I hadirregular periods."
Once she was diagnosed with PCOS, the couple decided to try IVF.
According to theNational Infertility Association, most women need to undergo multiple rounds of IVF before they are successful.
For Michelle, getting pregnant with IVF was pretty easythe couple got pregnant afterjust one round.
Unfortunately though, in September 2015, Michelle lost the baby.
“It kind of scared me when we were having issues because I remembered him saying that.
I knew I’d be letting him down if we had a smaller family.”
“If a woman knows her spouse wanted a large family, how does it make her then feel?
Michelle felt like she was letting her husband down in a big way.
“It just kind of like we weren’t moving forward,” she explains.
While her husband bounced back quickly after their loss, Michelle tried hard to pull herself out of depression.
After learning about the scar tissue, she felt even more hopeless.
Putting on a strong face was tough, she says, but helped keep arguments at bay.
It wasn’t really about the house being dirty.”
Financial concerns are one of the biggest things couples disagree over, according to theAmerican Psychological Association.
When it comes to fertility, Feingold notes that financial stress can be overwhelming.
“Couples may not agree in terms of what theyre willing to invest,” says Feingold.
For Michelle and her husband, finances were thankfully a minor factor.
“That was a huge thing that was frustrating for my husband,” she says.
“He still wanted to [have sex] and I just didnt.
I felt like I just did it as a chore.”
Lets not think ahead, let’s think about this week.'
Having a partner to remind her of that made it easier to do.
Michelle is currently 13 weeks pregnant.
She’s anxious as hell, and rightfully so.
“True colors come out during hard times, and we pulled together for our son.”
Patiencewith the process and each otherwas essential.
“Ive never had to be more patient in my life, ever,” Michelle says.
“It is extremely stressful and long.
Looking to the future, she’s not sure she’ll want to try for a third.
She’s ready to stop trying to have kids, and start spending her time enjoying them.
