What counts as physical cheating in a relationship is pretty clear, butdefining emotional cheatingisnt so easy.
Perhaps you no longer feel like your partners number one.
Instead ofattacking your partner, though, Bradden recommends preparing your thoughts beforehand and using I statements.
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For example: I feel that things have been off between us, she says.
That way, theyre more likely to listenand open upto you.
(If the talk doesnt go well, Wentzler sayscouples therapycan be helpful forrebuilding trustand improving communication.)
She started acting differently.
Later, I found a bunch of texts.
Then the tone of the conversations turned sexual.
This happened multiple times.
It was always with someone from her past or someone at work.
L
He became reactive and defensive.
He wouldblow upat the slightest thing I said and dramatically yell, Ive had enough!
He started having lots of different reasons to be out of the house too.
The emotional affair was with a woman he was giving music lessons to, and it eventually turned physical.
I felt that shit was off that night after he came home.
But then he stopped mentioning her, so I thought Id just imagined it.
Then the weird behavior came back.
After a few weeks, another meal at her house.
Thats when I knew, so I asked outright: Are you sleeping with her?
S
She was quick to start fights and spoke fondly of a coworker.
I believed I was a jerk but I could not understand what I was doing.
At one point, she even threw me out of the house.
She repeatedly expressed that she didnt need me and I was holding her back.
Then I stopped hearing his name.
Its very possible that this was a fullphysical affair.
I may never know.
His relationships with the other women in his life were more effortful and involved.
He always talked about having best friends who were women.
I went on his phone while he was asleep beside me.
A woman wished him sweet dreams and told him she hoped he had a nice weekend.
At five months pregnant, I lay reeling next to him and our one-year-old baby.
After 10 minutes or so, I decided to text her back, pretending to be him.
She said how nice it felt to be in her own bed after a long trip.
So I went out on a limb and said that I wished she was in mine.
She then replied that she wished that too.
That was the moment myheart brokeinto a thousand pieces.
A
He started keeping messages private, and a new person was liking all of his posts.
He tried to play it off, but if you know, you know.
He deletes almost everything!
Plus, this girl used to like his photos on Instagram when no one else did.
Another one Im not sure about is his cousins ex.
They follow each other everywhere and talk often.
E
She tried being friends with an old flame.
There were many times I wish I wouldve just walked away from her rather than give her more chances.
It never got physical, but she recognized it was inappropriate and finally ended it.
I discovered it by reading her emails and texts because I had a feeling.
They were never boyfriend and girlfriend, but they hooked up in college so they werent just friends either.
That showed 14 years later.
We did work through it, and were doing quite well.
