This year, I celebrated five years sober.
When I finally walked away from booze at 34, my life opened up.
I can honestly saysobrietyis the best thing I have ever done for myself.
Catherine Just Photography
It was my jumping-off point into a life I knew I had buried inside of me.
Its seen as normal to drink, and quitting that drug can feel like breaking a social pact.
So your bold, life-improving decision to not drink will mean changes almost everywhere you look.
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So if all of your friends drink alongside you, then theres no issue, right?
Sometimes they stop talking to you altogether.
Some will certainly remain, but even those arent necessarily long-game friendships.
Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up.
There is no one way to deal with this.
Its part of the sobriety package, and its not necessarily a bad thing.
Be patient and uphold your own standards.
Now that Im sober, this is a bigger deal.
I am morally opposed.
If youre like me, this can feel entirely terrifying.
I have always hated the feeling that Im putting people out or being difficult.
This is an opportunity to assert for your needs, and therefore assert your worth.
I would never expect a sober person to pay for my booze if the situation was reversed.
When I was drinking, it never occurred to me that I was anintrovert.
Thinking back to before I was sober, I usually had to drink to be around people.
I recharge when Im by myself, and I deplete when Im with othersespecially big groups.
Alcohol masked this truth about me.
Im not alone in this.
I didnt understand I could decline to answer or that I didnt have to make sense to everyone.
My answer changed over time.
This hasnt happened often.
Its important to remember that you never have to give yourself up to make other people comfortableever.
I should also warn you that people will offer you drinks, and youll have to turn them down.
It is an awkward, vulnerable dance between two awkward, vulnerable humans.
But this, Ive learned, is a beautiful thing.
It may also be helpful toget to know yourselfon your own, first.
There are people for which sobriety is a deal-breaker.
This might seem like a terrible thing; this is not a terrible thing.
Its like a super-charged filter.
Bonus tip: Sometimes sober people wont want to date you either.
People that dont want to date you because you dont drink arent your people.
Drunk me had loose neck muscles.
So now Im sober, and I have zero choice but to be me in all situations.
Becoming sober isnt just about abstaining from alcohol.
Its a subversive, hardcore choice to take your life into your own hands.
Its an invitation to stop playing small.
