I think there should be a new rule at baby showers: No more onesies.
Okay, theres nothing wrong with onesies,per se;I had plenty of them given to me.
Babies do need clothes (albeit a limited amount).
A young woman teaching her 4 month old son how to walk.
We need a team, we need community.
New parents are often in a fog of learning their new baby and trying to sleep when they can.
It can feel lonely and overwhelming.
Any bit of help to reduce their stress or their workload can support their wellness.
Be a helper, not a guest.
The worst thing that we do to new parents is expect them to entertain.
Come ready to help and to listen instead.
Helping is not holding the sleeping baby.
It means letting the new parent nap, doing laundry, doing dishes, or tidying up.
New parents need downtime, but taking care of an infant is relentless, often never-ending work.
Without an extra pair of hands, the whole day feels like triage.
Its the most helpful thing you could do to support a new parent, says Barad-Cutler.
Sleep protection needs to be a part of how we support new parents.
Ask them what their needs areand be specific.
The best way to help support a new parent?
Support them in the way they want and need to be supported, Dr. Kaeni says.
Sure, it sounds obvious.
But too often we assume what people want and need.
What kind of tasks can I take off of your hands today?
Would you rather I help with the baby or help with the chores?
Met with a response that the parent in need doesnt need anything?
That brings us to our next point….
4.
Dont wait on them to ask for help.
Its a well-meaning statement: Let me know if you need anything!
But too often its met with silence from those who, well, need things.
Thats why many new parenthood experts suggest simply doing without asking.
This takes the pressure off the person on the receiving end and provides help.
A simple gesture like covering a meal can sister a weak joist and keep the house from collapsing.
Hold space without expectation or advice.
Those messages sent on the regular can really boost moods and make someone feel loved, she tells SELF.
Resist the urge to give advice too.
The fix: Simply be there.
Ask questions unrelated to the babys sleep, eating, or development, and really listen.
Most of the time its the latter, Tabor says.
Remember too: Parenthood changes people, but your new parent friends are still people.
In fact, theyll probably appreciate the no-baby talk.
Honor cultural postpartum rituals.
In the United States, new parents are woefully under supported.
But thats not the way things are in other parts of the world.
Taiwanese sesame oil chicken soup and Korean seaweed soup are some of my favorites.
Culture, comfort foods, and companionship can all be healing.
How often have you started a conversation with a new parent with, Arent you just so in love?
Instead, try something like: How are you feeling about being a parent?
or What is it like for you to have a baby now?
