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Here,ClassPassshares the low down on how to speak up about what you really wantand actually get it.
No wonder we find ourselves adrift in adulthood with intense anxiety surrounding asking for change.
Standing up for what you need can be challenging.
If I ask her to be less self-interested when we hang out, itll end our friendship.
So we dont ask.
The situation continues and worsens.
We get into arguments.
We explosively quit our jobs.
That is to say, more likely to elicit the response we desire.
Heres how to ask for what you want and need without burning bridges.
Acknowledge you will need to communicate.
Plan a specific time to make your request.
Figure out why youre asking before you ask.
Deep down, what are you asking for?
Chances are, its not something outrageous.
As with any goal, having a clear motivation is essential to seeing it play out as you wish.
Be specific when asking for what you want.
Bad news: Passive aggressive hints dont work.
What does the result look like?
Is it being cced on emails concerning a certain project?
Is it having a friend show up on time for plans?
Is it having a daily technology blackout from 8 p.m. onwards?
Refer back to your motivation for asking for these things and use it to justify your ask.
I would love to feel more connected when we spend time together.
What would you think of implementing an iPhone-free policy after 8 p.m.?
Similarly, when asking for a raise, do your research.
Take the following:
Nancy, I think its complete BS that Rachel is being bumped up to director.
She barely does any work and she always leaves early.
It was a huge mistake to promote her.
It should have been me.
Now, compare that to:
Nancy, Ive heard Rachel will be made a director next month.
I wonder if you might be open to discussing my path in the company.
Show that you have the drive and the proven results to justify a promotion.
After all, asking in itself is a demonstration of your professionalism.
Youre unlikely to get more than what you ask for, so be bold and aim high.
You dont need to be rude or aggressivejust confident.
The key, though, is still to ask as though youre worthy of the outcome you want.
Recognize that having your needs met is key to meeting others needs.
If youre feeling overwhelmed or under-appreciated, your capacity to give is diminished.
Originally Written ByAmy Height,ClassPass.
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