Having a baby can be one of the most pivotal moments in life.
But, as these women candidly share,it doesnt always bring a couple closer.
To say it’s tough on even the most solid couple is an understatement.
Cheryl Zibisky/Getty Images
Below, seven women open up about how their relationships have transformed post-baby.
“The biggest change after having kids was the loss of freedom and autonomy.
Pre-baby, we both worked from home and set our own schedules.
Courtesy of Dawn Dais
We were both very independent.
For the first few years of having kids, you really feel like you’re treading water.
You are in survival mode.
Courtesy of Lauren Wilson
Eventually, things get a little easier and you find yourself coming out of a baby fog.
You are no longer treading water, and you even feel like youve made it to dry land.
The early months were so hard for me because I felt like a shred of my former self.
Felix Rust
And that loss of self occurred in our relationship too.
Things became very transactional.
And then nap times became more structured and we were able to have some alone time on the weekends.
Courtesy of Didi Wong
Having kids is stressful and there are so many moments when you lose your cool with each other.
I’m very lucky to have a patient and understanding spouse.
In the early days, you take turns sleeping while the other one feeds the baby.
Courtesy of Lyss Stern
Now my husband takes the kiddo to the park so I can run errands alone.
It has been a big change to navigate that shift and figure out how our new selves work together.
We also miss spending quality time togetherespecially times we can be spontaneous together.
We know we’ll be able to go on fancy spontaneous dinner dates againin, like, 16 years.
Lauren Wilson, 32, mother of two in Los Angeles
My husband and I are very independent.
We always did our own thing, even early on in our relationship.
We’d have Friday night dinner together, but usually on the weekends wed go out separately.
I had my ballet classes, he had his triathlon training and races.
Having kids made it much more difficult to have our own schedules and still have time together.
We still make it work, but something always has to give.
We have too little time as a family of four and too little time together.
I think we both often feel unsupported by one another.
It is easy to resent the other parent.
Sometimes I feel like I should be able to do more than I do.
But every little bit of it is worth it.
Though we know deep in our hearts we love each other, the disconnect is real.
Sometimes we only have time for a quick hi and bye during the day.
Sometimes a simple hug is enough to keep the love alive for another day.
Didi Wong, mother of four in Encino, California
I’m exhausted all the time.
I’m exhausted just thinking about it!
He’s such an incredible dad, and somehow through the chaos he continues to be an incredible husband.
After being married for 16 years, my husband and I have to constantlywork at our marriage.
But, through it all, our relationship has grown stronger over the years.
Be ready for a lot of bumps along the way.
But even though I know its cliche, my husband is still my best friend.
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