The first night I ever worked as a cam girl was in 2009.
I was instantly connected to thousands of viewersand instantly overwhelmed.
Over time, I realized that authenticity is a key aspect ofsex, even when it occurs online.
Irina Kruglova/Adobe Stock
I continued to work in the sex industry for five years, mostly using virtual platforms.
I still believe its one of the reasons ourrelationshipsurvived that separation.
1. double-check you feel okay with having virtual sex.
That should be non-negotiable.
Yes, you cancustomize a photo shootor record video content for a more modern, personalized experience.
But you might alsowrite lettersto one another that include explicit details (so vintage!)
or opt to text for written gratification thats more immediate.
You could also go retro and stick with phone sex that only involves your voices.
Instead, its about figuring out what works best for everyone involved.
Seek enthusiastic consent just like you would in person.
These discussions should be treated as just another healthy conversation about any sexual act, Franks explains.
Use the most trustworthy digital platforms possible.
This is one of the most important virtual sex tips to follow.
Hackers could leak your sensitive photos, videos, and texts or watch whats happening on your webcam.
Encrypted apps like Signal are best to use for this kind of encounter, Bowden explains.
For instance, Zoom has some security flawsthat are troubling, Bowden says.
People can also find ways to take screenshots on Snapchat without the user knowing, Bowden adds.
It holds the recipient responsible for the privacy and safety of the image, she says.
Art direct your experience.
A $15 desk lamp pointed from behind the camera often acts as my spotlight.
I also stack my computer on an old hamper to achieve the views I want for a video.
Wear what makes you feel confident, whether its a baggy tee, lingerie, or nothing at all.
Personally, clothes dont really affect my perception of myself.
You and your partner can even swap control over how the other displays themselves as long as everyoneconsents.
Start slowly, and check in with each other frequently.
Its okay if you dont want to bare it all or try somethingkinkyon camera.
Comfort levels change, and thats perfectly fine.
Are you missing their scent?
The look on their face during an orgasm?
The warmth of their touch or kisses?
There really is something for everyone.Vibrators, dildos, ticklers, and other toys abound.
I truly believe thataffirmation and authenticityare the most important aspects of these vulnerable experiences.
Remember to have fun, and most of all, dont put too much pressure on yourself.
Were alldealing with enough of thatalready.
