When it comes to relationship deal breakers, theres virtually no end to the list.
Theyre a good sign that youre compatible with that person and can form a healthy bond.
That all sounds lovely, and like what most people want in a partner, right?
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But in reality, green flags dont always get the appreciation they deserve.
Edwards Universityin Austin, tells SELF.
Were conditioned to look out for danger more than safety in most areas of our lives, she says.
But by failing to note the good stuff, you could also miss out on something really great.
Thats why we asked Dr. Green and other experts for their top relationship green flags.
Surprisingly (or maybe not?
), the list is far shorter than thered flags that should send you sprintingin the other direction.
They respect your boundaries, full stop.
They know how to express their feelingsor are actively working on their communication skills.
Youve heard it a million times for good reason: Communication is key in any healthy relationship.
A good communicator will use I statements and avoid blaming you for something they did, Dr. Brown says.
In other words, they take responsibility for their actions.
Just let me know going forward soIdont worry.Icare about you andIforgive you.)
Thats why another green flag is theacknowledgment of communication strugglesand a willingness to work on them.
They make you feel like youre on a teamor at least like they have your back.
You work together and support each other, and neither person dominates decision-making, says Dr. Green.
You collaborate tonavigate life stressors, and theres generally a feeling of equity in the relationship.
The gist: You feel like they have your back and care about your needs.
They give you space to be yourselfand bond with other people.
In other words, the two-become-one cliche is actually a red flag.
Do they encourage you to keep your standing Friday TV night with your best friend?
Tell you how much they admire you for taking improv classes?
Give you zero grief for canceling plans so you could support a family member?
Those are all green lightser, flags.
They have healthy relationships with others too.
What do healthy relationships with others look like?
Pay attention to how they talk about these people.
If they say theyre going to do something, they do it.
It suggests a lack of responsibility and means theyre not invested in you.
And their behavior is reliable too.
Not only does a quality partner follow through on commitments, but theyre consistent in their actions in general.
They demonstrate that you might count on them when its important, as Dr. Fancher says.
You feel good about yourself when youre with them.
The ability to value yourself because someone else sees your strengths and general you-ness is a beautiful thing.
