Youve probably heard the saying, If at first you dont succeed, try and retry.
And maybe youll get the result you want.
I might sound less than reassuring, but IVF can be challenging.
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The live birth rate falls to 4.1% for people over 42 years old,SART explains.
As it turns out, Im above average.
At the time of publication, my husband and I have undergone four unsuccessfulIVF cycles.
When I think about my reproductive journey overall, it seems like one blow after another.
I didnt actually realize failure was an option until our first unsuccessful cycle last spring.
But then I read that Chrissy Teigens first round was unsuccessful too (shes my IVF hero).
Because you dont know what the next steps are.
Where do we go from here?
How do we deal with this?
It all becomes very overwhelming.
There are common reasons an IVF cycle might be unsuccessful.
With a numerical abnormality, there are too many or too few chromosomes in a cell.
With a structural abnormality, the chromosomes structure has been altered.
Another major reason IVF cycles might be unsuccessful involves endometrial receptivity.
So theyre out of sync, Dr. Jeelani explains.
And finally, theres simply an element of good luck involved.
I call it my black box, Dr. Jeelani says.
Genetic testing is an option.
But hindsight is 20/20.
Even though we had seven healthy embryos between our two egg retrievals, only four were deemed chromosomally normal.
We felt optimistic about our January transfer with a chromosomally normal embryo, but that cycle also failed.
Make significant space for IVF in your schedule if you’re able to.
This is amarathon, not a sprint.
After all, everything depends on how your body responds to the medication.
Every body and every cycle is different.
What worked for your friend or what worked for you last time may not work this time.
If possible, take the day of the transfer and the next couple of days torelax.
4. you might take breaks between cycles.
Theres no change in outcome if you take a break.
Some patients think, If I go back-to-back, then I have a higher success rate.
And thats not true either.
Whether to hit it one more time or wait depends on your specific needs (includingfinancial considerations).
If you have embryos in the bank, you dont need to rush another transfer.
You mightve heard that fertility takes a steep decline after 35, but thats not entirely true.
By late August of 2020, we were back to the routine of daily injections and doctors appointments.
We were all set for another embryo transfer at the end of September when things werent looking good.
We prepared for another transfer in October, but it also failed.
Build up your support squad.
Think through how youll tune up your squad.
Dont hesitate to ask for a large helping of soul food to ease the pain.
Expect emotional triggers (and give yourself grace).
Remember, its okay to decline the baby shower invite.
Its okay to mute your pregnant friends onsocial media.
It doesnt make you a bad person.
you’re free to still support them without subjecting yourself to daily reminders of what you dont have.
This goes double for Mothers Day or any other holidays that may be triggering.
Theres trauma around infertility and everything that goes into it, Nelson explains.
Theres this sense of injustice, but theres also some trauma around your process to parenthood.
Its almost aPTSD[post-traumatic stress disorder] response to…everything youve gone through up to this point.
Your mix of emotions is valid.
Remember how far youve come.
After four failed cycles, youd think Id feel like giving up.
And I do, some days.
I hold on to hope and cling to faith, but there are times when I lose my grip.
You lay out your dreams and believe, she writes.
Revel in your literal magic.
IVFmuch likegriefis not always linear.
And its certainly not for the faint of heart.
There are ups, and there are plenty of downs.
So, for now, Ill keep the faith.
