When my doctor suggested I see a therapist, I resisted.
Ill think about it, I told him.
But I didnt think much beyond: I dont want to retell my story yet again.
Najeebah Al-Ghadban
It costs too much.
I dont have the time.
And most importantly, it hasnt worked in the past.
Most of the time those sessions consisted of me venting or chatting about life.
I could do that with my friends for free, thank you, Doc.
Theres not much out there to prepare them for what therapy is like, plus everyones experience is different.
Heres what they suggest:
1.
Dont just go off referrals.
Does her approach to therapy sound like something that you would benefit from?
When it comes to finding a therapist, fit is extremely important.
If you could, take your time looking through potential therapists before making an appointment.
Do your researchchecking out their backgrounds, specialties, and even their fees, Dr. Howes says.
He suggestsPsychology TodayandGood Therapyas good places to start your search.
Then narrow down your list to three or four.
Before making an appointment, ask for a free phone consultation.
Most therapists will offer free initial phone consultations to new patients.
Then go with your gut.
Ask your therapist what progress might look like.
These check-ins can help you stay motivated and develop short-term goals to work towards.
Expect to feel uncomfortable at times.
This can be particularly true if youre trying to navigatevirtual therapyat the moment.
But doing so ultimately helps them work toward where they want to be.
Dont worry about bringing some big thing to discuss into each session.
Thats when we can talk about the really good stuffthe meat of the issue.
(Heres more advice for what to dowhen you have seemingly nothing to say in therapy.)
Speak up if you dont agree with your therapist.
Therapy should feel like a safe, comfortable space where you’re free to say anything.
I appreciate it when patients bring these issues up, Dr. Gur says.
Putting all your cards on the table is the only way youll get real help, Dr. Howes says.
If things arent working out, dont ghost your therapist.
Its important to explore things rather than just leave treatment.
Remember: Therapy should be bettering your lifeeven if its work.
Luckily I found someone in my price range whose approach I liked during an initial phone call.
And even luckier, Ive liked working with her.
So far, I feel like Im getting further than I ever did in the past.
Remember that you are giving your time, money, and emotions to this process and this person.
Being an adult is hard, and therapy can helpdont give up.
Additional reporting by Casey Gueren.
See more from ourGuide to Caring for Your Mental Health here.
