Broadly speaking, the termAsian Americanincludes Americans from Southeast Asia, East Asia, and the Indian subcontinent.
Of course, there are nuanced differences between these groups.
However, they are all collectivist cultures, which means they tend to share similar themes in family dynamics.
Bjarne x Takata / Trunk Archive
The cultural myths aboutmental illnesswithin Asian American communities and the diaspora are strong and persistent.
Research has shown that within Asian cultures, mental illness is often seen as aweaknessor alack of willpower.
For Asian Americans in particular, pressure to live up to limiting stereotypes can also play a role.
(The apparent increase inanti-Asian hate crimesmay unfortunately be a contributing factor as well.)
Sharing your mental health journey with your Asian parents (or family members) can be daunting yet powerful.
First, understand why you want to have this conversation.
Before you have a discussion about disclosingmental healthstruggles, its important to consider your expectations around this discussion.
Understanding your motivations and end goal will help you structure your conversation.
It is also important to weigh the pros and cons of talking about it within your specific family.
For example, could this potentially jeopardize your living situation if you live at home?
Before you sit down to have a conversation, ask yourself a few of these questions.
you might discuss these prompts with a close friend or someone you trust.
The goal of these reflections is to anticipate and be prepared for the many directions the conversation can take.
Mental health might be a new topic for your parents.
It might be a topic they never expected to talk about with you.
So they may not understand you immediately, or they might be defensive and dismissive at the beginning.
Come prepared with information, examples, and descriptions that will be familiar to them.
This will allow themand youto be emotionally prepared for a discussion.
Many Asian families view mental health as a Western concept.
attempt to find both the formal words and the colloquial ones.
This will put you and your parents on the same playing field.
If you’re able to, find resources within the Asian community to help normalize the issue.
Local community organizations in your city can be helpful conversation starters and might have resources to support your discussion.
Its okay if you dont live in the same city; any information can be helpful here.
Fold mental health discussions into conversations about current events.
Dont push yourself to do both if its too much.
Ask open-ended questions about your familys emotional reactions to the events.
Use I statements to help get your point across.
Positive communication strategies can go a long way in diffusing the intensity in difficult conversations.
An example of a positive communication strategy is usingI statements.
you’re able to look up some worksheets for practicehere.
Be prepared to answer questions.
Approach the conversation with an open mind, and be prepared to answer your familys questions.
They may ask the same questions in many different ways.
venture to be as transparent about your experience as you’re able to.
Help them understand what you are saying and approach the conversation from a place of curiosity.
Many parents may internalize your mental health struggles as their fault.
Others might default to problem-solving mode using religious frameworks.
Practice, practice, practice!
Difficult conversations with our parents can bring up a lot of intense emotions and reactions.
The more you prepare, the more in control of your emotions and the conversation you will be.
Its also smart to plan someself-careandgrounding activitiesto do before and after.
Think about how to extricate yourself if the conversation isnt respectful.
This might be a difficult conversation, and its important to set healthy boundaries.
Be prepared to end the conversation if it is becoming aggressive, threatening, or disrespectful.
Do what you might to prioritize your own mental health in big or small ways.
This may not be an easy discussion to have, and it may not have the desired outcome.
See more from ourGuide to Caring for Your Mental Health here.
