I didnt have a good relationship with my family, she tells SELF.
They found me difficult to deal with.
As a result, there was no meaningful communication between us.
E S Kibele Yarman
I was able to say things in a safe space where I was heard and respected, she recalls.
I made my boundaries clear, and the therapist reminded my family of those when they were blurring.
Still, it took work to get there, which is totally normal.
Every single family has problems.
Families seek therapy together or encourage individual family members to go tocounselingfor all sorts of reasons.
Or even seek therapy on their own?
Ahead, mental health experts give us their tips for doing just that.
Offer to do research to find a potential therapist together.
Dr. Manly says a few important questions to consider asking include:
2.
Have an open conversation about why you think therapy would be useful.
Are you trying to resolve some sort of conflict with other members of your family?
Did you or a relative receive a diagnosis thats been difficult to accept?
Have they been internalizing grief that they havent been able to work through on their own?
Once you open up, they may be willing to do the same.
Be compassionate when asking anyone to consider therapy.
Appealing to the other persons emotions will help them understand why its important to you.
Dr. Manly also suggests using first-person language and taking a nonblaming attitude.
Id love to get some outside professional support so we can grow stronger together.
It would mean so much to me to have your support on this.
Let them know doing a bit of prep can make a big difference.
Latimer-Snell backs that recommendation, as she found the practice to be helpful before her own sessions.
Remind them a therapist isnt there to be judgmental.
Latimer-Snell made sure her family was aware of this before therapy.
Make it clear that progress will take some time.
Its a progressive process with improvement over time, Dr. Zeiderman says.
The goal is to identify, understand, and make sustainable change when addressing problematic behaviors and communication patterns.
We want to help them process their trauma and help them learn to develop healthy attachments, he says.
We weren’t equipped to do that without the help of a professional.
I attend hoping to learn how to best parent and love our girls and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Let them know theyll have your support throughout therapy.
Tension may be high after a particularly emotional session.
The same goes for families seeking support together.
All members of the family contribute to the contract and work collaboratively to refine it, she explains.
Explain how a therapist can break down harmful mental health stereotypes.
For some people,going to therapy feels taboo, but its possible to work through this.
Many cultures stigmatize seeking therapy, Dr. Manly says.
Her South Asian family went along with her.
Family therapy brought them closer than ever as they addressed intergenerational trauma.
We all understand each others boundaries, and we work together through challenges.
See more from ourGuide to Caring for Your Mental Health here.
