After being in arelationshipfor a few years, I’ve basically forgotten what it’s like to date.
In an effort to not be one of those people who’s like, “Omg, you’resingle?
But it’s normal to have to go through a bunch of garbage dates in between.
Daniel Grizelj / Getty Images
Here, women share the worst dates they’ve ever been on.
Get ready to commiseratethey’re pretty bad.
“I was having a lot of fun at a punk concert with aTinderdate.
We were moving from gin and tonics to beer when he suddenly showed up with shots.
I thought, ‘Yeah, why not?’
After the concert, we went to his place, did the deed, and passed out.
I thought it was broken, maybe because someone jumped on it when we were dancing.
Half-asleep and still tipsy, I hopped into his kitchen and grabbed frozen spinach.
In his sheets, all over his floor, even in the cracks of his wicker bed frame.
He looked at me and just said, ‘What the f*ck?’
‘That’s right ladies, you could buy me online!’
Sonia V., 41
“I was on a blind date.
We met for oysters and drinks, thenwe argued for a solid 30 minutes about brunch.
Like, whether brunch is determined by the menu, the timeframe of the meal, all that.
When it was done, we shook hands and never spoke again.”
Who does that?!
I was more than happy to pay just to get out of there.”
I gave him water, offered him napkins, and kept asking him if he was OK.
I wanted to ensure he didn’t need the Heimlich!
At this point, if I were him, I would have already been in the restroom.
But he was still sitting there choking, andhe actually started spitting food up onto both of our plates.
He finally stopped and drank some water, then he just started to eat again!
He explained the choking by saying he’d eaten part of his napkin.
How does that happen?
I powered through dinner, and when we walked out, he tried to kiss me.
I dry-heaved all the way home.”
He told me he was training for a race.
When he showed up, instead of sneakers and jogging clothes, he was in khakis and a button-down.
He wanted to sit and talk, not run.
As we passed a hot dog stand on our walk, he said he was thirsty.
Did he pull out his wallet to pay for his water?
Julia H., 37
“I went to see a movie with a man I met on Tinder.
Right before the lights dimmed, I noticed someone who looked vaguely familiar at the bottom of the stairs.
Laura R. 27
“My friend’s brother came over for a home-cooked dinner.
The date was awful.
For starters, he smelled, I think because of dirty clothing.
And when we sat on the couch chatting after dinner, he wasfartinginaudibly, but fragrantly.
I did, but he never came out of the store.
He abandoned me at the supermarket.
We went out again because I was really trying to do his brother a favor.
On our second date, at brunch, he admitted that he had dropped acid right before.
Robin R., 49
Quotes have been edited for length and clarity.
