Its solid adviceoften meant to keep children from sharing something unintentionally cruel in most contexts.
Butpost-election, Ive noticed so many of us (myself included) have taken that platitude to an extreme.
In the aftermath of a chaotic four years, were scrambling to find something nice to say.
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Sometimes the nice thing isnt worth saying.
Theres a lot to be said in the aftermath of an election where the incumbent will not concede.
There are conversations we ought to have as we stare down risingcoronavirus rates.
The list goes on.
Theres no judgment here (Ive said a few of these cliches myself).
Or, if all else fails, it’s possible for you to opt to say nothing at all.
Now is the time for forgiveness.
Forgiveness, as a concept, isnt a terrible idea.
But no one gets to tell people when to forgive another person.
The dust hasnt even settled on this election, so calls for forgiveness seem premature.
Additionally, government policies have real, sometimes harmful implications.
So folks are allowed to hold on to their anger for a while.
No one has toforgivebefore they are ready.
What Id rather hear:Folks who were angry and did something about it inspired significant political change.
People are allowed to be mad.
No matter who won, theres still work to be done.
To be totally clear, its not a terrible thing to say in every circumstance.
You just need to pick and choose when you say this kind of thing.
When youre having a conversation about organizing for change with a friend?
When someones telling you the aftermath of a Biden-Harris win is the first time theyve slept soundly in years?
There are a few other reasons it shouldnt be your go-to platitude.
First, it invalidates the stark differences between the candidates.
It does matter who won, as eachadministration has prioritiesthat impact how we engage with the aforementioned work.
What Id rather hear:Im excited to continue working toward change under this new administration.
In some ways, the last four years have been a blessing.
If the last four years have yielded positivity for you, thats amazing.
But this platitude invalidates how catastrophic theyve been for others.
At least its over.
I know this has felt like the longest election season, and relief is a widespread emotion.
But, well, is it over?
Many people are still working through those anxieties.
What Id rather hear:Im so glad we made it through election week!
Lets agree to disagree.
But political issues are intensely personal.
Even if youarentending relationships over differing beliefs, saying lets agree to disagree stops the conversation.
It really means, I dont want to talk about this anymore.
Lets pretend our differences dont exist.
Kamala Harris shattered the glass ceiling.
Instead, for many people, it became something that one person could shatter alone.
Yes, Vice Presidentelect Kamala Harris has made history.
In doing so, shell make it easier for others.
Yes,she represents hopeand possibility for so many.
Still, the ceiling might have holes, but it hasnt shatteredthose invisible barriers are still intact.
What Id rather hear:V.P.-elect Harriss win expands my ideas about whats possible.
Black women will save America.
To be clear: Black women can say this all day (theyve earned the right).
If Black women will save the country, how are you helping us do that?
How are youprotecting usin the process?
Is it time to put your money where your mouth is?
Its time for us all to reach across the aisle.
Yes, they should.
The rest of us should hold those folks accountable.
Theres only one race: the human race.
Even though humans are one race, we cant deny the very real implications of racial differences.
This phrase isnt accomplishing what you might hope.
