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Reframing your thoughts is pretty much the MVP of your CBT tool kit.
Sergey Ryumin / Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images
A thought is like a pair of sunglasses.
If you look at the world through sunglasses, things look a little different.
Reframing your thoughts is like taking off your sunglasses or putting on another pair with a different lens.
Youre asking, How can I look at this a different way?
So lets talk about a few different answers to that question.
With that in mind, here are some things it’s possible for you to try.
Write down your thoughts.
so you can reframe your thoughts, you have to know what youre thinking to begin with.
If reframing your thoughts is a new skill for you, awareness is an important first step.
Then write it down, says Galanti.
But thats you assuming the worst-case scenario is going to happen, also known as catastrophizing.
This tip can also look like separating objective facts from emotional opinions.
For example, a lot of my anxieties lately revolve around the loneliness of isolation as a single person.
When I catch myself anxiously thinking, Im going to die alone!!!
I give a shot to reframe it as a factual statement instead of an emotional one.
Switch from asking, Is this true?
to Is this helpful?
Thats where Is this helpful?
Instead, Bonior suggests thinking about how your thoughts can help you gain insight and strategize.
Ask yourself what youd say to a friend with the same thought.
If it helps to imagine the advice coming straight from that friend, more power to you.
We can also use our more rational, less worry-prone friends as role models.
How would they judge this thought?
How would their response be different than mine?
Go for realistic, not positive.
But the opposite of an unhelpful thought isnt a positive thought, its a realistic thought.
Or whatever is true for you.
What will my life look like after this pandemic?
Who knows, but I certainly spend most of my time worrying about how it will be absolutely ruined!
In that way, I think of reframing as giving myself space to explore okay-case scenarios.
Swap finding the bright side with finding meaning.
Now might not be the time for ~finding the bright side~ of the pandemic.
For many people, bright sides can feel forced and uncomfortable.
That said, there can be value in findingmeaningin our experiences.
Say, for example, you cant stop worrying about the long-term impact of this crisis.
You think: My finances will never recover from this.
My career will be set back after all my hard work.
My life is going to look irreparably different after this.Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
But just as importantly, this kind of thinking presents an opportunity to connect with meaning.
The heart of getting through grief and loss is connecting with meaning.
Be on the lookout for, What can I get from this?
Maybe you get laid off, and thats awful, but its an opportunity to take a reset period.
Maybe you learn about resilience you didnt know you had.
We wouldnt have chosen this experience, but we can get something of value from it.
Also, if finding small things to be grateful for amid chaosdoeswork for you, thats awesome.
It doesnt cancel out your negative feelings, and besides, gratitude is a pillar of positivemental health.
Finding things to be grateful for doesnt mean youre grateful that this is happening, says Bonior.
Turn a thought into an action you think will make you feel better.
Its never helpful to spiral about how youshouldbe feelingwhen were all going through something right now.
Theres no good to come from invalidating your feelings, says Bonior.
That spiral never ends.
Someone always has it worse.
Someone who lost their job can say, At least I didnt lose a loved one.
That doesnt do any good to just add more guilt and anxiety onto an already anxiety-provoking situation.
Reframing your thoughts here means asking yourself, What can this thought teach me?
Stick with reframing strategies for at least a week before switching it up.
Its extremely common for them to feel awkward, stupid, and unproductive at first.
It isnt automatic, says Galanti.
Reframing a thought doesnt lift a weight off my shoulders and make me think, Im good now.
Its a begrudging process.
You have to try things out a bunch of times.
And if it doesnt work out, then you’ve got the option to use a different strategy.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a toolbox, so if one tool doesnt work, you try another.
Know when reframing isnt the best tool.
And sometimes its not the most effective tool.
For one, the reframing technique is rarely effective against a morephysical anxietyspiral.
Past that, though, its also justpersonal.
