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This article is part ofSELFs Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less.
Jordan Moss
(And were taking our own advice: TheSELFstaff will be OOO during this time!)
Angela Neal-Barnett, PhD, finds solace under her hair dryer.
Thats when, for just a few moments, she can truly relax.
I feel calmer and do my best thinking then.
Its forced relaxation, Dr. Neal-Barnett tells SELF.
Forced relaxation sounds like an oxymoron.
But in todays overstimulating and relentless world, sometimes it takes a little push to actually unwind.
Even if relaxing can feel hard as hell, learning to do it is incredibly important.
Biologically speaking, we arent designed togo, go, go, Dr. Zucker says.
Our nature is not to have a nonstop 12-hour workday and a six-hour sleep cycle.
Thats really going against what our biological needs call for, which is adequate downtime.
Without relaxation, neither our bodies nor our brains can function optimally, Dr. Zucker explains.
Take the amygdala, an almond-shaped region considered to be the emotional center of the brain.
Being present is the antidote to feeling anxious, she says.
When were anxious, were thinking about things that could go wrong in the future.
Simply being, helps us relax in the moment and focus on whats right in front of us.
Getting to a place where youre okay justbeingand chilling out is a gift, Dr. Zucker says.
We live in a society that values productivity and output, Dr. Gooden says.
Often, people connect their sense of worthinessto being productive.
This achievement-oriented mindset tends to frame doing nothing as wasting time, Dr. Zucker says.
Its common to feel guilty about downtime.
If this sounds familiar, try what Dr. Neal-Barnett calls the so-what exercise to challenge guilt-inducing thoughts.
Say youre beating yourself up for not working overtime.
This exercise digs up what Dr. Neal-Barnett calls a core fear.
In this case, the fear might be,Who am I without work?
Addressing your guilt can ultimately make relaxation more restorative and less triggering, Dr. Neal-Barnett says.
give a shot to become aware of difficult emotions youre feeling in the moment, Dr. Zucker says.
That might sound something like,Im really anxious about sitting still right now.
Im sad and lonely, and I dont want to think about it.
but it can prevent you from grabbing your phone to avoid feeling your feelings, Dr. Zucker says.
Investing in yourself helps you show up in the world the way you want to.
Even a 5- or 10-minutemeditation sessionor a few yoga poses can help you get into a more relaxed state.
Just remember: Try not to judge whether or not youre good at these practices, Dr. Zucker says.
Maybe its eating your favorite dessert, spending 15 minutes with your child, or reading aromance novel.
Whatever you choose, do it mindfully and savor the moment: Smell the food.
Give your kid your full attention.
Feel the weight of the book in your hand.
Put your phone out of reach.
The enjoyment you feel afterward will help reinforce the behavior.
The more you truly let loose, the easier itll becomeyes, even for you.
