Youre at homenot at workand you just changed yourbabysdiaper.
But now the baby is crying uncontrollably, and you arent sure why.
You feed them, change them again just in case, and walk around the house.
Getty Images/Gary Bryan
Nothing is working, so nowyourecrying.
(Just a little.
Or maybe a lot.)
You dont want to take them outside because that could put them at risk forinfection.
Youre stuck pacing the halls of your home, endlessly rocking and shushing.
You barely remember it as a concept, much less a reality.
Vacation this is not.
A break from work.
This is quite the opposite of what Id consider avacation.
This new development (and in retrospect, a case of postpartum blues) made me cry.
I didnt feel like this was my body.
My pediatric medical training didnt prepare me for the rigors of breastfeeding.
Thus I had no idea what was going on with my breasts.
Was I experiencingmastitis, an infection that can happen when milk ducts become blocked or engorged?
Was this just my milk coming in?
I kept returning to one question over and over: Is this normal?
As it turns out, it was.
Eventually my bout of postpartum blues also dissipated as I fell into a rhythm of caring for my baby.
This kind of disorienting, distressing experience is a natural part of having a newborn.
Lucille T., an internist, remembers returning from maternity leave and having people ask how her vacation went.
I told them it wasnt a vacation, Lucille tells SELF.
I had a baby.
Taking care of a newborn does not equal a vacation!
Maternity leave is hard work.
Some mothers even relish a return to their jobs over the intensive care and time spent with a newborn.
The lack of support for new parents in the United States is shameful.
We are the only industrialized nation with no federal laws mandating some level of paid parental leave.
Some private companies across the nation offer paid leave programs for new parents, but theyre in the minority.
There were also indicators that the program had the potential to enhance employees future productivity and morale.
I did not travel, relax on the beach, or enjoy any true downtime.
I put my time and energy away from work into shaping my babys first few months of life.
I did this in part byworkingextra time before giving birth.
I also banked all of my vacation and sick days to look after my baby.
I also benefitted from planning and cooperation from coworkers and schedulers.
A vast support internet including my colleagues helped me to make all of this happen.
Not everyone is this fortunate.
This is essential in respecting the responsibilities of caring for new life.
Without this, new parentsprimarily womenoften bear the overwhelming stress of caring for a baby under potential economic duress.
We as a society must combat misconceptions surrounding maternity leave.
Its not a luxurious respite.
Its an essential time for parents to address their health and happiness, along with that of their babies.
Partaking in parental leave without added financial worries should be a right, not a privilege.
Joanna Parga-Belinkie, M.D., is a neonatologist, pediatrician, podcaster, and mom.
She is an attending neonatologist and a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics in Philadelphia.
