Last Wednesday pop superstar Adele posted aphoto of herselfin recognition of her 32nd birthday.
Not a topic of the post?
Her caption thanked fans for wishing her a happy birthday, and wished them safety during theCOVID-19 outbreak.
Jeff Vespa/Getty Images
It read:
Thank you for the birthday love.
Instead many focused on something she hadnt even mentioned: the changing shape of her body.
In the days following, Adeles weight loss became a trending topic.
Adele shows off stunning weight loss, proclaimedone Yahoo!
CNNspun the storyinto weight loss inspiration.
Page Sixaskedtwo plastic surgeons if they thought the singer had cosmetic surgeries.
This is not controversial!
This is purely a good thing.
Comment after comment lauded Adele for her new look or for getting healthy.
And I had mistaken a strangers body as, somehow, mine to comment on or speculate about.
It also isnt that a celebritys achieving thinness continues to make news (although that certainly doesnt help).
And that excitement is supercharged when that woman was previously fat.
Some of us feel compelled to comment on weight loss due to social pressure.
Whatever our reasons, weight loss compliments abound.
But weight loss isnt always desired, nor is it universally cause for celebration.
Some lose significant amounts of weight after major traumas or heartbreaks.
Others lose weight during cancer treatment.
For some, weight loss is the result of an illness, or treatment of a health condition.
For those folks, weight losscomplimentsare unwelcome reminders of painful, often intimate experiences.
We dont know if shes struggling with an illness, or if shes been treated for one.
We simply cannot assume we know how she feels about her own body.
And we dont know how shes receiving this whole conversation about her body.
We simply dont know.
And ultimately, our responses to Adeles weight loss reveal more about us than they do about her.
Adele has won15 Grammysand holds the number-one spot on the Greatest of All TimeBillboard200 Albums list for21.
Yet for several days the media and commenters on social media were fixated on her body.
While Adele is the primary person impacted by this conversation, shes not the only one who is.
For some this conversation is an affirmation of their weight loss goals.
This public conversation also sends a powerful message to fat people.
Yes, many people desire weight loss and want to be praised for it.
And some arent harmed by this public conversation.
For some, it could be one of the things that helps trigger a relapse in an eating disorder.
For others, it could do the same for major depression or social anxiety.
Those concerns are far from niche.
At least30 million peoplein the U.S. have an eating disorder.
We can do better by one anotherandby the celebrities we say we love.
We can hold our tongues if they dont ask for our input.
And we can listen when others tell us that the way were talking about weight loss hurts them.
If we really value consent, we wont discuss strangers bodies without it.
Until then, weve got a long way to go.
