When you visit your parents, start by considering these questions:

Pay attention to your parents' appearance.

Failure to keep up with daily routinessuch as bathing and brushing teethcould indicate dementia, depression or physical impairments.

Also pay attention to your parents' home.

Are the lights working?

Is the heat on?

Is the yard overgrown?

Any changes in the way your parents do things around the house could provide clues to their health.

For example, scorched pots could mean your parents are forgetting about food cooking on the stove.

Everyone forgets things from time to time.

Do your parents have difficulty navigating a narrow stairway?

Has either parent fallen recently?

Are they able to read directions on medication containers?

When asked, can your parents explain how they set up or take their medications?

Driving can be challenging for older adults.

Losing weight without trying could be a sign that something’s wrong.

A drastically different mood or outlook could be a sign of depression or other health concerns.

Talk to your parents about their activities.

Are they connecting with friends?

Have they maintained interest in hobbies and other daily activities?

Are they involved in organizations, clubs or faith-based communities?

If a parent gives up on being with others, it could be a sign of a problem.

Pay attention to how your parents walk.

Are they reluctant or unable to walk usual distances?

Have they fallen recently?

Would a cane or walker help?

Issues such as muscle weakness and joint pain can make it difficult to move around as well.

attempt to:

Share your concerns.Talk to your parents.

Your concern might motivate them to see a doctor or make other changes.

Consider including other people who care about your parents in the conversation, such as close friends.

Ask about follow-up visits as well.

Address safety issues.Point out any potential safety issues to your parentsthen make a plan to address the problems.

For example, a higher toilet seat or handrails in the bathroom might help prevent falls.

Consider home care services.You could hire someone to clean the house and run errands.

But discuss this with your loved one first.

If remaining at home is too challenging, you might suggest moving to an assisted living facility.

reach out to the doctor for guidance.If your parents dismiss your concerns, consider contacting the doctor directly.

Your insights can help the doctor understand what to look for during upcoming visits.

That’s where you come in.

confirm your parents understand the problem and your proposed solution.

Updated: 12/20/2019

Publication Date: 12/12/2005