WhenSELFoffered me the opportunity to profile Alanis, I screamed into the phone.
The prospect of meeting and interviewing Alanis MorissettetheAlanis Morissettewas overwhelming to me.
I wanted something from her, I told my friends.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Top by Paco Rabanne. Earrings by Leigh Miller.
I knew that there was no chance of me being an objective journalist in our time together.
(The first, mainly.)
She accepted these offerings with grace.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Dress by Issey Miyake.
Alanis does everything with grace.
Alanis is deliberate in her movements and careful with her words, and she locks onto her conversation partner.
And were both big fans of talking about childbirth, as youll learn in a moment.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Top by Paco Rabanne. Jeans by Levis. Earrings by Leigh Miller.
I will tell you this: She was a glowing angel, ripe with new life.
She was wearing no makeup.
Thats all it’s crucial that you know.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Shirt by Matthew Adams Dolan. Bra and panties by Jonesy.
Lets talk about the story of Alanis Morissette.
To Canadians, shes Alanis, and always will be.
Think of it asThe Mickey Mouse Club, but if Tim Burton were in charge.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Top by Christopher Kane. Top worn underneath by Babaton. Jeans by J Brand.
She toured with Vanilla Ice.
But the Alanis we had in Canada was neveryourAlanis Morissette.
Alanis was…both Olsen twins in one body.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Top by Christopher Kane. Top worn underneath by Babaton. Jeans by J Brand.
She was our Tiffany, (and more frequently referred to as our Debbie Gibson) but much more.
She was a tiny dynamo with wild dark hair and a mezzo-soprano voice you couldnt possibly overlook.
For Alanis, a lot of it stems from being a workhorse from such a young age.
Steph Wilson. Wardrobe styling by Kirby Marzac. Hair by Dimitri Giannetos at The Wall Group. Makeup by Kayleen McAdams at Starworks. Manicure by Whitney Gibson at Tomlinson. On Alanis: Shirt by Matthew Adams Dolan. Bra and panties by Jonesy.
Blessedly, Alanis swiftly referenced Souleye, and that was that.)
Becoming a mother was not the easiest journey for her.
Between Ever and Onyx there were some false starts, she said.
According to the Mayo Clinic,10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
We as a society have only recently (so recently!)
It was a torturous learning and loss-filled and persevering process.
Being somewhat of a planner, Alanis was determined to take the reins.
I have different doctors who laugh at the thickness of my files.
I’m also an over-preparer for those things, I told her.
I want to know things, I’m curious.
Pregnancyis a big fucking deal.
Ask someone about theircolonoscopy(probably do not do this) and youll get a clear answer.
Pregnancy can change your body,forever.
Whats harder to talk about is the shit it can dredge out of your heart.
It’s this whole chemistry of emotions, Alanis said.
Hormones and chemicals that are just coursing through your body.
It [can] be triggering, or flashbacking, or re-traumatizing.
Some of the body changes also turn back the clock.
I relayed this to Alanis, and she understood.
There are so many ways pregnancy can affect you, she said.
I was ready for the ride.
Did they venture to up your pitocin?
Did they offer to pop your bag of waters?
while listening with genuine intensity and love.
I obviously told Alanis she had to read it instantly, at once.
She gave birth to her first two children at home.
Oh, yeah, when yourefullyin the shit, I said.
Yeah, sometimes literally, she said.
People tell you that but you dont really believe it until its happening to you, I said.
And you dont care, she said.
Not even the tiniest bit.
Its a very interesting little 24 hours that you could’t get back, Alanis said.
Although she would not necessarily recommend it to others, she believes it did the trick for her personally.
of relief between minute-long (or longer!)
Alanis said she was literally begging, HOW DO I?
How the fuck do I do it?
YOU get on the wave, I silently yelled at her midwife and doula!Be more useful!
Alanis is in pain and confusion!
When you had Onyx, I asked, was Ever present?
Because people make very different choices around that with home birth.
No, Alanis said, Hes a highly sensitive person.
[…] It wouldn’t be okay with him no matter how much I prepared him.
Exactly, Alanis said.
notwithstanding), but to this, Onyx said, Ha!
Pushing solo had never been the plan.
When I had a millisecond of reprieve, I would have to blurt, initiate the door!
I felt I was the coach, she said.
“Hearing his voice was so beautiful,” she says, hearing him sayokay, breathe in.
And then there was Onyx.
Not singularly relying on myself to diagnose myself is key, she said.
Because the first time around I waited.
She waited a long time.
For Alanis, it manifested as a familiar heaviness.
It does feel like tar, like everything feels heavy.
Often what had pulled me out of my depression pre-family was service, she said.
And then I had my various forms of self-medicating [that also didnt help].
So, creativitys not doing it, tequila’s not doing it…and I even sang about it.
But dont ask meabout it.
Hearing no, honey, the opposite was enough to unlock her.
The second time, though, you still waited, I said.
And now this time I’m going to wait four minutes.
I snoweda lotof them as I was snowing myself [the last two times].
Sometimes a little of both.
Your new career as an unpaid litigator who also needs to remember dentist appointments is not without its stressors.
Somewhat surprisingly, Alanis took to the challenge of raising two children with both joy and familiarity.
Yes, there’s constant negotiation, Alanis said.
I live for collaboration and negotiation.
Our whole philosophy is win-win or there’s no deal.
Or it’s win-win or we’re not done.
Souleye, Onyx, Ever, and Iall four of us win.
And that takes a minute.
Maybe we can all win.
Alanis spoke of her family as a four-person unit, any conflict resolution requiring full buy-in.
Theres also the added layer of being a parent after having experienced some amount of trauma in your life.
Holy shit, I said.
I mean, what else is there?
And those are the main ones, Alanis said.
you’re free to’t slap her, you’re free to’t grab his things.
Alanis also said that she tries to parent her children with their empathy and sensitivity front of mind.
Those weren’t conversations being had 44 years ago.
Alanis said she related to this experience, to a degree.
I myself am slightly dissociated around claiming that archetypal role [of mother], she said.
I still have moments where it feels like its not dawning on me that Im a mother.
But when I look at them, I just think I’m soresponsiblefor you.
Feed, clean, hold.
Not just the classics: Why is the sky blue?
Where does bacon come from?
but Where was I before I was here?
And Will you be with me forever?
For Ever and Alanis, the connection that makes space for the big questions is being outside together.
The other day he said, Mom, can we go for a three-hour walk?
So we were two hours in and he asked how long we had been walking and talking.
I can’t even believe it.
It’s my dream.
His mom held down two full-time jobs, his dad stayed home.
So there’s nothing unfamiliar about [our situation for him].
What hedoesfocus on, and what Alanis focuses on, is the concept of provisioning.
What does your partner need that isnt money?
In our situation, the currency of provision just looks different, Alanis said.
Souleyes method of provisioning changes by the day, by the hour.
He’s with the kids right now, that’s a huge provision.
Especially around pregnancy, if I need something at any given time, if at 4 p.m.
I need probiotics he’s like I’ll be right back.
So that’s amazing.
Which, of course, led us to the question of Modern Society.
We have to take in history.
(I may have yelled YES at this point.)
Yes, Alanis said.
Its not anyone elses job to be responsible for my temperament.
Maybe pin-drop silence right now is the key.
Or it might be hey, being pure presence with my daughter right now is the key.
Or right now crying is the key.
Fucking binge-watching a TV show is key.
(This is when I told her to watchFleabag, and she wrote that down too.)
If only we could all face our hardships within this context.
Just singing along and I’m like…that’s the story of rape, basically, she said.
Its not a surprise that people groove out to Hands Clean without focusing on the lyrics.
Alanis stars in the video, and in stark juxtaposition to the events described,its…fun?
I think about that disparity too, Alanis said.
And I’m laughing…
Because its an opportunity to awkwardly laugh about it all, I offered.
Right, or be charmed, or distracted, she said.
And then other people listen to music as a way of escape or rest or entertainment.
The song, for me, had been a grenade, I told her.
It was a grenade for you, Alanis said, because you were listening.
[But] it wasn’t a grenade for some.
And the people who were addressing it at the time, they weren’t being very supportive.
Still now, women aresortof being supported.
Itand Iwere just straight-up ignored at best.
Vilified and shamed and victimized and victim-attacked at worst.
Word for word about this and do you remember what happened during that time?
In 2017, he was sentenced to six years in prison.
Yes, she said, and that experience was just one of many, unfortunately.
So for me that was just another version of the same dynamic.
How of all the boundaries, you cant tell me what Im thinkingis actually the most hard-won realization.
Alanis said it took a long time to come to terms with what she had experienced.
Had she consciously chosen to leave Canada, knowing that this would be it?
The pop princess wanted to write songs that might not rhyme, and she wanted her due.
And that’s what Jagged Little Pill was.
And a lot of people in Canada thought this can’t be true, this can’t be possible.
she said, practically spitting it out.
For some, it had precipitated necessary breakups.
Others said they applied for jobs they had thought or been told were too much of a reach.
And you know what?
A few of us went down on guys in theaters.
All of which, of course, came out of my mouth as, and it still fuckinslaps.
