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I met Allyson Felix on a slightly drizzly day in June at a studio space in West Hollywood.
Ekua King. Wardrobe styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Alexander Armand at The Wall Group. Makeup by Samuel Paul at Forward Artists. On Allyson: Dress and swimsuit by Pari Desai. Earrings by Cos.
But really I was there to get a sense of how our conversation would go.
But you probably didnt know she was pregnant until after it was all over.
Has she started solids?)
Ekua King. Wardrobe styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Alexander Armand at The Wall Group. Makeup by Samuel Paul at Forward Artists. On Allyson: Dress by No21. Earrings by Kate Spade.
are a surefire way to bond.
But I still wasnt sure if shed be willing to speak openly with me.
Which is why I showed up at the shoot hours earlier than our time slot.
Ekua King. Wardrobe styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Alexander Armand at The Wall Group. Makeup by Samuel Paul at Forward Artists. On Allyson: Dress and swimsuit by Pari Desai. Earrings by Cos. Shoes by LOQ.
It seemed like a good start.
But when I introduced myself, Felix was polite and friendly but not overly effusive.
It seemed like she was trying to focus.
Ekua King. Wardrobe styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Alexander Armand at The Wall Group. Makeup by Samuel Paul at Forward Artists. On Allyson: Top by Decade. Pants by Pari Desai. Earrings by Rachel Comey. Bracelets by Young Frankk.
It looked like she had her game face on.
She never took a break.
Until shortly after spring 2018, when she found out she was pregnant.
Ekua King. Wardrobe styling by Mar Peidro. Hair by Alexander Armand at The Wall Group. Makeup by Samuel Paul at Forward Artists. On Allyson: Dress and swimsuit by Pari Desai. Earrings by Cos.
To anyone following Felixs career closely, the first clue that something unusual was happening was in June 2018.
But then she ran a surprisingly slow time at the first race in Poland on June 8.
No one knew she was eight weeks pregnant.
As she trained for those races, Felix did the same kinds of workouts she would normally do.
That first trimester I was just exhausted, just completely exhausted, Felix tells me.
But still having to do the same workload.
And so I was just trying to manage that.
I felt like I was just working out and sleeping.
A second disappointing performance came a week after the Poland race, this time in France.
Her workouts became less intense.
It was something they had been planning to do even if she hadnt been pregnant.
Because I’ve never really had any rest, she explains.
I knew that I was going to be returning, she says.
So I wanted to be in a good place.
Its important to note that Felixs pregnancy was, by her account, textbook.
I was still trying to wrap my head around everything.
I feel like the people around me did [recognize the danger].
So I felt I had heard, Felix says.
But I wouldn’t say I was fully educated with the details.
I’m a professional athlete, I’m healthy.
I feel like I was doing everything I was supposed to.
Even after hearing Serenas story?
I don’t know, she says.
It’s really strange now looking back.
I’m like,Why wasn’t I more aware or in tune?But I don’t know.
So I think I was just like,Oh.I think it was more related.
It may sound as though I was haranguing FelixHow could you have possibly missed this!
I just want to know more.
Knowing Felixs story is like confirming my own.
Camryn was in the NICU for a month.
I started to give a shot to figure out what happened: Why did this happen?
How could this happen?
She started asking other people questions too.
My doctor would come in and make rounds.
And [I was] just talking to different people at the hospital.
And looking things up, coming across the statistics, Felix says.
That’s when I realized, Oh, wowblack women are at risk no matter what.
The problem is that plenty of us go in with no idea.
Or that because we’re black we have an elevated risk for pregnancy and childbirth complications.
Its hard to even wrap your head around.
She says that she didn’t think so.
It’s definitely real for black women, she says.
And in a lot of situations I’m sure that many, many women have experienced it.
Now, just a few months after her harrowing experience, shes become something of an activist.
Shes working with the March of Dimes to help mothers and babies.
Her goal, she tells me, is to raise more awareness among the black community.
I would love to see a black woman who is fully educated: becomes pregnant, starts a family.
Is fully educated about all of these risks and is fully equipped to go to the doctor.
To be able to ask questions.
Advocate for themselves if they need to.
Have all the tools to be able to face whatever comes at them.
Its surprising to Felix herself.
Im [usually] not the one to ruffle feathers or speak out, Felix says.
If not me, then who is going to do this?
But at the end I just kept saying, I’m doing the right thing.
I’m being truthful.
I’m sharing my very real experience.
And also I knew so many women who had gone through the same thing.
It just reconfirmed that, after I did see the number of people who shared their stories with me.
And people who couldn’t share it.
The female athletes who are still under contract and can’t say anything.
And they’re like, That was my experience.
And so that just really made me feel okay.
I knew I was doing the right thing.
SELF reached out to Nike for comment but had not heard back as of press time.
But what about becoming a mother when youre notactuallyready in the logistical sense?
We did have a name.
We had picked that early.
But that’s all we had, she says.
So then what did the process of becoming a mother look like for Felix?
I couldn’t sprint.
Not even couldn’t do it well.
But just like, I couldn’t do it.
Something that was just so natural, and that I didn’t even think about.
Now it’s like I didn’t feel like myself.
She goes to the gym two to three days a week.
Sometimes Camryn and Ferguson join her.
After that it’s like you’re free to’t not do it, you know?).
The details might be specific to her circumstances, but the logistics are normal working mom stuff.
Felix is probably figuring it out.
Take that piece for theTimes.Before becoming a mom, she told me, she wouldnt have written it.
Years ago, theres no way, she says.
I just felt it was too much outside my comfort zone.
Now Felix is ready to speak out, and she credits motherhood for that.
It’s not about me, she says.
And I think this is the way.
She says no but expresses some regret about how things played out.
I’m three weeks, four weeks.
But I think just being able to fully embrace it myselfthings like just being out and about.
I felt like that was a moment missed for me, she says.
“Those are areas that I would’ve never thought of before, Felix says.
Thetop three finishersof any event automatically qualify for the world championships as long as they meet certain other requirements.
It will be her ninth world championship appearance if she goes.
Im just trying to be my authentic self.
No matter what the consequences are of that.
Or how people take that, she says.
For her that means standing up for what she believes.
And opening up to a stranger, even just for an hour, so you can share her story.
