Despite what you may see on TV, plenty of people have exciting,pleasurable sexwithout orgasming.
If you never reach climax but would like to, then you may have a condition called anorgasmia.
That mightsoundsimple enough, but anorgasmia treatment isn’t straightforward.
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Everybody is capable of pleasure and everybody is capable of change, Dr. Howell tells SELF.
What even counts as an orgasm, anyway?
Because orgasms are individualized, theres no one way to tell if youve had one.
For some people, orgasms are that clear-cut and intense.
(Meaning not every one will be the dramatic toe-curling scene portrayed in movies.)
Additionally, some people may not enjoy the feeling of orgasming.
What is anorgasmia?
There are a lot of nuances in sexual health.
The condition is then further categorized by thesituationswhere you may not climax.
What causes anorgasmia?
Sometimes more than one of these factors can contribute to someones anorgasmia.
For example, certain antidepressants can make it harder for you to orgasm.
Your physician may be able to recommend an alternative medication that doesnt affect your sex life.
Howell suggests asking your ob-gyn to assess your pelvic-floor muscles.
There is no single cause ofpelvic-floor dysfunction.
Those stressful thoughts can make it difficult to relax during your experience and orgasm, Dr. Shepherd says.
There may be times when you struggle to find pleasure in anythingincluding sex.
National Library of Medicine.
More seriously, having sex after experiencingany kind of sexual abuse or traumacan be emotionally painful.
Know that it is completely normal to feel confused or terrified about sex and sexuality after going through this.
The first step in treating anorgasmia is finding the roots of the condition.
There isnt one standard treatment plan for each cause of anorgasmia.
Instead, doctors generally recommend working through a variety of solutions.
If you need recommendations, your primary care doctor or ob-gyn may be able to offer a referral.
(you could also search theAmerican Physical Therapy Associationdatabase for providers.)
Some people could benefit from doing Kegel exercises, says Dr. Howell.
Repeat a few times, gradually increasing your reps over time.
(Heres more on how to start aKegel routine.)
Or maybe you just havent found what really arouses you.
you might also consider using a sex journal to reflect on your experiences and desires.
(This storyexplains how you’re free to get started with one.)
(If you have insurance you might ask your insurance provider for referrals.
Youre on your own timeline, and you get to decide what feels right moving forward.
Easier said than done, right?
When working throughrelational sex issues,Dr.
Brown-James suggests putting orgasms on the back burner.
Truly focus on each other and even use one of my Naked Homework Assignments.
These include activities like spending a full minute hugging or complimenting your partners body while youre both naked.
Ultimately, it may take some time to figure out why you arent orgasming.
