“What you see is what you get,” Graham says.
“I don’t change who I am from public to private.”
Still, they can’t help sneaking glances at the supermodel in their midst.
Jason Hetherington
Graham’s energyaccentuated by a bright orange, curve-hugging dressis electric.
“I look cute today!
Where are all the paparazzi?”
Jason Hetherington
she says with a laugh.
The bold declaration could sound like bravado, but instead, it’s somehow refreshing.
As women, how often do we proudly acknowledge our own hotness?
“I love my hourglass figure,” she says, smiling, eye contact game strong.
This article originally appeared in the October 2016 issue of SELF.
This full issue is available September 27 on national newsstands.
They want to talk to her.
Often, they walk away beaming.
She prefers the termcurvasexalicioustoplus-size(“We don’t say, ‘My skinny friend.’
Why do big girls have a label?").
Her proclamations reflect her genuine warmth, hard-won self-acceptance and earnest passion to change the way we see ourselves.
Graham’s to-hell-with-your-beauty-standards attitude has catapulted her into the stratosphereand onto the front lines of a growingbody-positivitymovement.
“For too long, the average American woman has gone unrepresented in mainstream media.
When you looked at cover models, they seemed like some mystical breed apart from us.”
Sure, Graham radiates supermodel, but in a way she also is us.
She proudly flaunts her so-called flaws, cellulite and all, to the tune of 200,000 likes.
Graham is rebranding what it means to be sexy around a single quality: confidence.
She didn’t start her career expecting to reshape the national conversation around women’s bodies, though.
In fact, her current level of success astounds her.
“I’m still pinching myself, like, Oh my God, this actually happened tome?”
she says of her multifaceted fame.
“The agency didn’t sayplus-sizeright away.
They saidmodel,” she recalls.
“But it was automatic because plus starts at size 8.”
That’s not to say she was insecure about the term.
Still, she was hardly immune to teenage struggles.
“I always felt second best.
I was never the prettiest, never the skinniest, never the fastest in my sports.
Never the smartest, because I have dyslexia.
Then, all of a sudden, people were like, ‘You’re gorgeous.’
And I was like, ‘What?!’
"
She’d soon find out.
At 17, Graham signed with Wilhelmina Models and moved to New York City on her own.
Graham began trying every diet under the sun, from cabbage soup to 10-day juice fasts. "
Her confidence plummeted, and so did the control she felt over her body.
“It was a dark place.”
I didn’t understand the health aspect of it.”
The former high school basketball and volleyball player stopped exercising, losing her tone and definition.
You’re so gross,' " Graham recalls.
How can I get through this?”
Her splintering self-esteem propelled her through a series of toxic romances.
“I dated all the wrong men,” Graham says.
“I thought I could feel appreciated in my body through guys.”
Graham speaks openly about being in an abusive relationship during this period.
“I didn’t know to get out then because I was so insecure.”
Like, Oh, I’m not pretty or skinny enough for men."
“She was like, ‘No.
You’re there for a purpose,’ " recalls Graham. "
You have to work through this.'
" But only after hitting emotional rock bottom did Graham begin to build herself back up.
“I remember one moment, like, boom. "
From that day on, she made a conscious effort to speak to herself positively.
To say ‘Sorry’ when someone bumps into us.
So I decided to break that cycle,” she says.
“But it didn’t happen overnight.”
She began to see self-approval as key to success.
“Being in this industry, I’ve always had to defend myself,” says Graham.
“I’ve always had to prove myself more than the girl next to me.”
At 21, determined to change her relationships with men, she decided to become abstinent.
“I was looking for love in the wrong places,” Graham says.
Graham also realized that part of reclaiming her body was prioritizing her health, weight aside.
“So it was like, okay, I’m an athlete.
I need to move.
I know that working out releases endorphins and makes me feel my best.”
Graham has been working up a serious sweat ever since.
Today, she exercises three mornings a week and recently took up boxing.
Still, she doesn’t torture herself when she misses a workout.
She met Ervin in the elevator at church in New York City.
Their chemistry was instant, but she kept her pledge.
“I was like, ‘Look, I’m not having sex ‘til I’m married.’
And he was like, ‘Great!
Let’s not.’
“I respect my husband because he’s allowed me to thrive in who I am.
We really are invested in each other’s growth.
Every business decision I’ve made, he’s made it with me.”
And the business of being Ashley Graham is booming.
“We want to relate to realness,” says Johansson.
“I love Ashley’s confidence and ability to be true to herself.”
“I admire her efforts to change industry standards.
She brings women into a conversation about loving who you are.
That kind of authenticity is contagious.”
And it’s irresistible to seemingly everyone.
Shooting on the set of a NYDJ denim campaign, she found a friend and mentor in Christie Brinkley.
“Ashley makes women feel good,” says the ’80s fashion icon.
“They feel the love in her message.”
Graham has launched her own namesake collections for Addition Elle lingerie, Dress Barn and swimsuitsforall.
She’s done stints onGood Morning America,The TalkandE!
“That’s what I want,” Graham says of their careers.
“And I believe I can have it.”
Does she intend to add mother to her multiplying titles?
“Right now, I’m empire building.
Let me milk this, honey.”
But by now, Graham has had plenty of practice holding her head high.
I’ve always had a bustier chest.
I’ve always been louder.
My laugh is outrageous.
I learned to think, Your confidence has to walk into the room before you do.”
Some people just don’t get itI’ve been denied jobs because I was too big.
I’ve also been denied jobs because I was too small.
At the end of the day, I’m never going to conform to what anybody wants.
This is my body; I’m happy in it.”
Graham smiles, satisfied, letting her words sink in.
“And nobodynobodyhas control over my body but me.”
Photo 1: Cushnie et Ochs Briefs Alala ear CUFF Jennifer Fisher RING BOND Hardware SHOES Osklen.
Photo 2: Top, Jonathan Simkhai.Bottom, Cynthia Rowley.
Hoop, Alexander Wang.
Stud (left), Magdalena Frackowiak Jewelry.
Gold ear cuff, Kathleen Whitaker.
Ear cuff, Shahla Karimi.
Rings, Bond Hardware.
Photographed by Jason Hetherington.
