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Help!How hard is it to say that word?
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Giving and receiving help is a natural part of both humanity and functional society.
Heres what the research and experts who study the topic have to say.
(Mostly all of these fears are unfounded, she adds.)
Cultural norms can also play a role.
Thats one reason why it may feel wrong or selfish to ask for help.
Receiving and offering help is not something that is looked down upon.
Its just part of the social contract.
Of course, even collectivist-leaning groups arent immune from the barriers to asking for support.
In other words, most of us could probably use a little, uh, help in this department.
As humans, were first and foremost social beings.
We crave connection with each other, says Dr. Lakshmin.
Its just that they cant help you if they dont know what you need, says Dr. Baker.
And despite our (often misguided!)
Knowing what the research says can be empowering, he says.
Maybe you politely ask a tall stranger to grab your heavy carry-on from the overhead bin.
It means youre trying something new, which can be uncomfortable, says Dr. Baker.
A SMART request is an acronym for an ask that isspecific,meaningful,action-oriented,realistic, andtime-bound.
According to Dr. Zhao, requests that meet these criteria are more likely to benefit both parties.
Emotional closeness matters when it comes to asking for helpespecially in more casual controls like home and community.
A safe space allows people to honestly discuss their failures and needs, says Dr. Zhao.
One way to build emotional closeness: Normalize caring for your friends, family, and community.
This might make you rethink your hesitancy to reach out to others.
Want to institute a culture of asking for help?
Okay, heres the truth: Sometimes people are going to tell you that they just cant help you.
The key is to learn something from the no instead of taking things personally, according to Dr. Baker.
Look at rejection as information, and be curious about the reason, he suggests.
Ever feel like you know you need help but you just dont know…what that could look like?
These are some indicators that you might benefit from professional mental health support, says Dr. Lakshmin.
(Here are SELFs best tips forfinding an actually affordable one.)
No matter how you go about honing your help-me skills, its a worthwhile pursuitfor everyone involved.
They are strengthening social ties and they are able to feel generous.
Asking for help is quite generative for both parties.
