We hope you’ll be as moved by them as we were.
I sang in the church choir, played piano and acted in local theater.
At home, Id drape blankets over my shoulders as if I was wearing haute couture gowns.
They thought I was gay, and honestly at the time, so did I.
So, Id pray to God a lot.Im faithful, so why do I feel this way?
I was 17 by this time.
My mother didnt take that news well, and before long, I considered ending my own life.
One night, I actually tried.
I swallowed a handful of pills.
I want to live.
It was in that club where I first met a transsexual.
It was a revelation, but not necessarily one I was ready to have.
One night, a friend invited me to a party in the barracks.
After I arrived, I remember hearing a click.
Hed locked the door behind us.
Are you really gay?
We dont care, we just want to know.
I was scared, so I kept denying it.
So, I did.
Then he said, Why do gay men hit on me if Im not gay?
I said, I dont know.
I was staring at the trees below me, sobbing and yelling, No, youre not gay!
When he pulled me back inside, I ran straight for the door.
The next day, I went to the captains office and said, Its time for me to go.
Soon after, I started my transition.
Discrimination is a part of any trans persons life.
I can definitely attest to this.
I was fired from almost every job I’d ever had.
But after I got there, I quickly realized this wasnt my path.
I had more to offer.
I ended up redesigning the entire website and eventually teaching myself code and graphic design.
With my technological skills, I realized I didnt have to sell my body.
Its a lifeboat for people who are drowning.
For instance, I just spoke with a trans woman in Cincinnati who was shot in the face.
I just need an opportunity, she pleaded.
I cannot work fast enough.
To be a trans woman of color and even live to see 34 is a gift.
Through my journey, Ive realized that pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.
Ive even come to a place of love and understanding with my mom.
In fact, now shes the one raidingmycloset for clothes.
The biggest change in my life, though, is that Im no longer fighting for just survival.
Now, Im fighting for so much more.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of MissRoss.com
