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On Friday, Natalie Portman’s and Ashton Kutcher’s romantic comedyNo Strings Attachedhits theaters.
We turned to__________licensed psychotherapist and author ofThe Unofficial Guide to Dating Again____T______ina B. Tessina, aka “Dr.
Romance,” to get all the deets on how having a friend with benefits can mess with you.
______________Can guys and girlsreallyhave platonic friendships?
The issue of sex may come up, but it can be dealt with.
Are there any emotional benefits or disadvantages to having a casual, sexual relationship?
The benefit is being able to have sex with someone you know, rather than a stranger.
The disadvantage is it could be the end of the friendship.
Plus, it may keep you from finding a real relationship, because you’re too comfortable to look.
Do men and women approach casual sexual relationships differently?
____For men, it’s what they want–sex without responsibility.
They also tend to take it for granted, and still be attracted to other women.
Most of them have fantasies about having all the women they want.
Women, on the other hand, tend to become emotionally attached when they have sex.
(Men actually do, too, but they don’t want to know they are.
That’s why they often don’t realize they feel something for someone until that person is gone.)
Women’s fantasies are about a monogamous relationship.
What do you do if you start to develop feelings for your partner?
Don’t ignore it.
Let your partner know, and watch the reaction.
If you don’t get a positive response, cut off the sex.
That’s the way to see if the other person is also emotionally attached or not.
Don’t languish in a friends-with-benefits relationship when you want more.
If he suddenly meets someone else and marries her, you’ll be devastated.
How do you get out of a sexual relationship with a friend without losing the friend?
____You have to talk about it, a lot.
I’d like to still be friends."
Or, “I can’t even be your friend for a while, because I’m grieving.”
Is it easier for an older or younger couple to maintain this bang out of relationship?
____It’s not easy for anyone.
It only seems easy at the beginning.
My office is full of people who had their hearts broken this way.
____Definitely talk about it beforehand, or as soon as possible.
You also need to talk about feelings, to open that subject for future discussion.
CatchNo Strings Attachedin theaters January 21!
Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
