Before I took uprunning, any moment ofanxiety,panic, ordepressionseemed like something I needed to sprint through.
If I didnt, I thought Id be labeled weak or crazy.
Other runners would pass me on the trail, and Id feel so disappointed as I walked, panting.
Ella Endi on a recent run. Courtesy of the author
Instead of attempting to sprint through my runs, I decided to go as slowly as I needed.
But I reassured myself that I wasnt running to impress themI was running for me.
And, to my surprise, I noticed a difference immediately.
Ella, crossing the finish line of her first 5K race. Courtesy of the author
That day, I ran my first mile and experienced an adrenaline rush that left me eager for more.
I began training for my first 5K two days later.
A few weeks into training, it was time for my first run without any walking breaks.
Ella poses with her brother after finishing her first 5K race. Courtesy of the author
A 20-minute run without any rest felt impossible.
I was awestruck by how this new approach empowered me to do something Id previously considered impossible.
My eyes welled with tears.
Because, honestly, thats not what recovery is.
Tending to ones mental health requires the same supportive, intentional care.
It requires setting manageable goals instead of expecting to hit the finish line right away.
Its about less yelling and ridiculing.
More compassion and empathy.
Less sprinting and more of the tortoise-and-the-hare approach: Slow and steady wins the race.
Disappointment washed over all of us, and the other late arrivals opted to go home or walk.
But running taught me to adjust my expectations to overcome challenges.
Do I still have bad days?
But now theyre a lot less powerful because I know that I have what it takes to handle them.
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